Tears on my Pillow
by markab
Summary: AU. Donna didn't die on that rooftop and what her life might have been like if she had lived. R&R please. ROSS AND DONNA. COMPLETED.
1. Chapter 1

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

A what if story...did the same for Aaron years back.

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"...I just used you...I don't love you...it was all to do with the money..."

Ross Barton was seething with total anger as he sped the police car into the multi-story car park. Donna had got out after serving him that bomb shell and buggered off. Gary North was here. That was where they were meant to of met him, give him the envelope. Ross hit the brakes and smashed his hands over the steering wheel, and hit his head against the headrest several times. Tears of hurt and anger.

Donna was going to handle this alone. He couldn't do that to her. She didn't love him, but he stilled love her...

He got out and hurried to the stairwell and starting to climb. His injuries that he received from the heavies in the club were making him feel sluggish.

Donna was on the top deck and Gary North was with her. They were arguing.

"Donna!"

Ross started to run forward, but as the gunshot rang out, he realised the laser beam was on him, aimed at his chest.

It all happened so quick. One moment Donna was shouting and Gary was shouting, and the next minute they were handcuffed to the railing.

Ross's heart was in his mouth. Donna had forced Gary to remove his man with the rifle. Ross took his chance and swung forth and grabbed then both, with protest Donna shook her head.

"No Ross No!"

He grabbed the key from her belt and unlocked the cuff, Donna saw this as giving up what she was going to do, she shook her head, but Ross slapped his hands onto Gary North's chest and pushed him off, Donna gasped and feel to her knees, Ross grabbed her arm to pull her up.

"We've gotta go NOW!"

"I can't...I can't...", she was gasping for breath, "...they're be here soon...I sent for back up Ross...go...just get out of here..."

Ross shook his head at her, "so this is it...I GET to go on the run on my own? You really are a cold BITCH!"

"Just go!"

Ross spat on her and hurried away, Donna watched him go, then, when he was out of sight she feel onto her side...

...It was blurry when she woke up...she was in the hospital, she could smell it at first and then, as her eyes adjusted, she saw that she was in a hospital bed. Bob was sitting there. He stood up when he saw her move.

"Donna?! NURSE she's awake..."

A nurse came forward and placed a hand on her arm, "take it easy...do you know where you are?"

"..the...erm...hospital...", she then became panicky, "...where's April? Where's my little girl?"

Bob was at her side, "April's fine love...she's at home with Marlon...he was here till about an hour ago..."

"How long have I been..."

"a few hours, it's past 8 Oclock love..."

Donna shook her head, she looked at Bob, he had that look on his face, like he wanted to say something...and he did,

"...why Donna? WHY didn't you tell me? About your illness...when Marlon told everyone in the pub that he feared you were dead..."

"The pub? Does everybody know? It wasn't supposed to be like this!"

Bob shook his head, "love, calm down...it' all going to be okay...I just wished you'd said something...that's all"

Donna felt terrible and put her hand over his, "I'm sorry Bob...I wanted to tell you...but...it just got...ohhhh I don't know, I'm so tired"

Bob became all teary, "Love...you're Viv's little girl and I promised her if anything would happen to her I'd look out for you..."

Donna was close to tears herself, "...I'm sorry Bob...you've been so good to me and April...and this is what I do"

Bob stood up, "You rest now...I'll stop by tomorrow...and I think your colleagues want to question you...did they EVEN know?"

Donna shook her head.

"I thought not...but we WILL get it all sorted, I promise...I'll see you tomorrow sweetheart", and he kissed her on the forehead.

Bob waved at her from the exit and walked off. Donna laid back on the pillow and closed her eyes, then she sensed a shadow and snapped them open...

It was Ross.

Donna looked about her and shook her head at him, "Ross? Why are you here...why haven't you..."

Ross stared at her, "...long gone? I went back to the village you stupid cow...why didn't you fucking tell me? WHY Donna...why let me find out like this..."

Donna was trying to sit up and looking about her, Ross was in danger of coursing a scene.

"Ross calm down..."

"Don't tell me to calm down...", he sat in the chair Bob only moments ago vacated, and screwed his face up at her, his eyes full of pain.

"..say it's not true Donna...you're not dying...you're not...you look too healthy to be dying..."

Donna was shaking her head and at the same time trying to cool him down, "Ross...I can't do this now, it's getting late...Ross you've got to get away..."

Ross pulled himself together and his eyes met hers, although his was dark and angry, "...you don't remember do you? I KILLED Gary, I pushed him off that roof...there's NOTHING that can put me there..."

"Ross...you've gotta go, I'm too tired..."

Ross stood up and wiped his eyes with his sleeve, "I can't for the life of me understand WHY you never said...all I can think of is that YOU used me..."

"No..."

"Yeah you did...but, no...I'm not being used NO more, me...stuff yah! Stuff it all!"

And he stormed off, Donna glanced after him but he was gone. She put her hands to her mouth and tears began to fall.

Now everybody knew, now Ross knew, she knew nothing was going to be the same again...

TBC?

_**Feedback would be good...what me to continue? If enough of you like it, then I'll happily oblige!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

A/N: Thank you so much for the kind reviews! Although I can't read half of them due to a clitch on fanfic! Hope I will be able to see them soon - and keep them coming, love to read your thoughts and opinions.

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At the hospital, Donna was ready to go home. Marlon and Bob were fussing round her like they always did.

"Have you got everything love?"

"Yes Bob...can we just get home I want to see April"

Marlon was opening the door for her, as Bob wheeled her through in the wheelchair, "sorry Donna...I would have brought her here but, well I didn't think you would want her to see you like this"

Donna smiled at him, he was right - Marlon was always right. They left the hospital and Bob went and got the car. Marlon helped Donna out of the chair.

"Right...when we get home...me and Laurel have said that YOU are staying with us"

Donna shook her head, "No, no, no...I'm okay at Paddy and Rhona's..."

"No...WE'VE said...it's best for April that we are all together"

Donna was too tired to fight him. She looked up to see Bob pulling up in the car. It was time for the off.

Bob drove down the country lanes to Emmerdale. Donna stared out the window in the backseat.

"So...your lot were speaking to you this morning...did you tell them?" asked Bob, looking at her through the rearview.

Donna shook her head, "Yeah...they weren't very happy...I think they are discharging me from the force...I don't know what this means with my pension and that...? I was banking on that to give to April"

Marlon scowled at her, "You should have thought about that when you came back...told them...then all this would never of happened...chasing psychos in your condition, what was you thinking of?"

Donna took his hand and squeezed it, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean for any of this to happen...I just wanted what was best for April"

Bob smiled and tried to lighten the mood as always, "Well...Brenda is waiting in the café with her...she missed you last night"

XXX

At the garage, Ross was sat on the ground with his legs under the car he was working on. He grafted in stoney silence. Debbie, knowing everything because she was in the pub when Marlon had announced that Donna was dying, and had informed Ross after, turned from what she was working on and looked up to see Bob's car drive into the village.

Donna was in the back.

"She's home", she said.

Ross didn't look at Debbie, he just continued working on the car, "Who?"

"Donna...she's back"

"And you are telling me because?"

Debbie huffed at him, "Ross! Why are you being like this...so? She didn't tell you she was dying...she must have had her reasons"

Ross snapped. "Yeah SHE DID! And one was not telling me!"

"Ohhhh suit yourself", and Debbie walked off. As Bob's car came to a stop outside the café, Ross managed to steal a quick glance, when Donna was being helped from the car by Marlon, he turned back to what he was doing and managed to cut himself because he was too teary eyes and het up to concentrate. He jumped up and threw the monkey wrench down and put his cut thumb in his mouth to stop it bleeding.

Debbie was back and looked up as he ran his thumb under the tap, "look, if you're not up to it today, why don't you just take the day off"

Ross shot her a glare, "oh yeah? And DO what exactly? Go home and think about all the times SHE OVER THERE lied to me?"

Debbie was at her wit's end now, "I don't know...maybe you should just go round there and let her explain why she..."

Ross was in her face, "NO WAY! I'm not going anywhere near...INFACT...she'll just have to wait a very long time before I speak to her again"

Debbie leaned up against the garage door frame as she watched Ross go back to the motor he was working on, "...well that's just it, isn't it Ross...it's time she's not got much left of"

Ross turned away from her and he looked up towards the café...his heart was doing somersaults...he was confused...

"I don't care!", he managed to force out.

XXX

Inside the cafe, Donna and April were reunited. April was so pleased to see her she wouldn't let go. Marlon went and sat with them.

"Come on April, your Mum's poorly...she needs to go home and go to bed"

April looked up at her questioningly, "have you got the belly ache Mummy?"

Donna laughed it off, "No April, Mummy's just a bit sleepy that's all...must be the stronger drugs they've given me"

Bob and Marlon looked at one another.

XXX

Debbie had been on the phone about a couple of jobs coming in for the garage. She ended the call and came outside to tell Ross that she'll need his help. He was gone.

The car he had worked on was gone too.

She pressed call on her phone...Ross's phone went to voicemail.

"Ross! Where the hell are you now! Get back here or you'll find yourself out of a job, do you here me!"

XXX

Ross was in a club drowning his sorrows. He leaned on the bar and drank his pint and eyeing up the fit girls.

One particular one was giving him the eye. She could only be described as legs and fake boobs. The blonde hair extensions laid over her shoulders as she came over with her drink.

"Hi"

Ross looked at her, or more importantly down her top.

"Are you up for it what Carly?" he said knocking back his pint.

"Ohhhh Ross you old romantic..." she said in sarcasm, "...you don't change do you?"

Ross stood up and grabbed her arm, "Are you up for a shag or what?"

Carly shook him off and cooled him, "Heyy...calm down...what's got your mood up? I like the mean and moody guy and that's why I never say no to you"

Ross laughed at her.

Carly pulled a face, "What? What have I said? What's so funny?"

"YOU! The reason YOU never say no Carly is because you are a right dirty slapper!"

Carly looked shocked at him, "You what? How dare you"

"You want it all not", he grabbed his cock through his jeans as he said it.

"Well give me 5 will yah...AND I'm not going to the alleyway again like last time..."

Ross was getting the arse, "Arrgghh come on!"

Carly was pulling him by the arm across the dance floor to her mate, "I need to tell my mate Donna I'm off"

Ross stood still, she turned and saw that he was staring into space.

"Ross?"

"I can't do this...sorry..."

Carly pulled a face at him, "Errrrr...you turn up after not showing your face for months and then blow me out?"

Ross shoved her away from him, "GET OUTA MY FACE!"

Some bloke grabbed him, "Hey...having a pop at girls now are yah?"

Ross shot him a death glare and clenched his fists, he knew this guy.

"Get out of my face Terry..."

"Ross... what is it man? You're acting more of a nutter than usual"

Ross wanted to smash his face in, but instead he pushed past him and headed to the exit. In the car park he smashed his fists down onto the bonnet of a car and then slumped to the ground on his backside sobbing his heart out.

Inside Carly came to Terry's side, "What's got into him? He's never turned me down ever!"

"Did you see the state of him, all those cuts around his face? Probably got into some scrape knowing him!"

XXX

At tall trees cottage, Donna was sat in front of the TV, the local news was on and a reporter was standing on that rooftop going on about the death of Gary North after a police chase.

She had fed her superiors with a shed load of lies, but she made sure that they were believable and that Ross was out of the picture.

The low lamp was on and Marlon and Laurel were in the kitchen with hushed voices.

"I am still here you know!", she called out to them.

Her phone jingled and she picked it up from the arm of the chair. She had received a text.

_**R-I hope you are pleased with yourself you bitch**_

Donna's heart was fluttering. Ross was STILL mad with her...but it was understandable, all the plans he had made for her and April...wanting to try to be a dad to her...and now he knew that was NEVER going to happen. Never was.

_**Where are you?, **_She texted back.

Donna kept looking out towards the kitchen to see if Marlon and Laurel weren't coming in. Her phone jingled again.

_**why du care**_

Donna bit her lip. Was this wise what she was about to text him? What was the point...Ross would only see her as a dying woman now, wouldn't he?

Fighting back the tears she texted. _**coz I love u**_.

Ross didn't text back. Maybe she could go and find him tomorrow. See if he was alright.

That's if he lets her...

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	3. Chapter 3

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

A/N: _**Hey...managed to read all the reviews and thank you all so much. This chapter is alot longer than usual...hope you enjoy and kt me know what you think...**_

XXXX

Donna was up bright and breezy the next morning. She got April ready and went into the kitchen to take her medication. Laurel came in through the door and held back.

"It's okay...I don't mind an audience", Donna said putting down the beaker on the draining board.

Laurel smiled and went to the sink, "don't mind me"

Donna leaned on the counter and looked at her, "You didn't know, did you? About me moving in here"

Laurel sighed and stopped what she was doing, "Marlon's just doing what's for the best and I support him AND you...this is all for April...and YOU of course...blimey I must come across as a right cow"

"Don't be silly"

They sat at the table and could hear April watching the TV.

"Marlon says that you and him are going to tell her...now we all know, it's best you tell her soon or she might hear it from somebody else"

Donna shook her head.

Laurel placed her hand over the top of Donna's, "I'll be there...you can guarantee on my absolute support...and Paddy and Rhona and Bob...we'll be ALL there"

Donna looked at her, Laurel looked back at her, then pulled a face, "What?"

"You are so good for Marlon...and...you, I'm so glad April is going to have you as a mummy...I don't want anything to spoil that"

Laurel frowned at her, "why would anything?"

Donna stood up and laughed it off, "Ohhh nothing, just me being silly...best get April ready...will you be okay to look after her today...I know it's cheeky..."

"No...it's fine, don't be silly, I LOVE looking after her, she and Arthur get on really well"

"good"

XXX

No sooner was Donna out the house she went into the village and headed straight for the garage. Debbie was standing there with a mug of tea in her hands.

"Is Ross around?"

Debbie shook her head, "I haven't seen him since yesterday...mind you he is back somewhere because the car he took yesterday is back where it should be"

Donna nodded forcing out a smile.

Debbie licked her lips and came out with it, "Donna, I KNOW all about you and him...what you two were doing..."

Donna's face was a picture...she looked aghast.

Debbie reassured her, "It's okay though, I'd do the same if it were my daughter Sarah...as Mums, we have to put our children first, don't we"

Donna put her hair behind her ear and nodded, "look...do you know where he is...I think he's in a bit of a state if I'm honest"

"Ross is ALWAYS in a state, have you seen the way he turns up here to work...", she then felt abit guilty about not mentioning the illness, "...I'm sorry to hear about you...it's really sad"

Donna waved a hand at her and tried to be brave it off, "Trust Marlon to go blabbing it all out in the pub like that"

"He was worried though...he thought you were dead when Bob came into the pub with the news about you...he felt abit silly when he realised you were okay...well...you know"

"Alive..."

Debbie nodded towards Andy's house across the street, "Knowing Ross he's still in that pit of his...go knock for him..."

Donna gave her a parting smile and turned around to cross the road, Debbie called out, "I've never seen him like this before Donna...he must have it bad for you"

But Donna was hurrying across the road.

XXX

Donna leaned on the door and caught her breath. She then knocked it, and Andy was soon opening it to her.

"Donna? What do you want..."

"Is Ross in?"

"No...he's not in any trouble is he, he turned up with a shed load of bruises on him last night"

Donna nodded, "No it's not official business...he said he'd look at my car...", she TRIED making that sound convincing.

"Well...all I know is, he had a massive bust up with Adam last night"

"Adam?"

"Yeah...they were going like the clappers them pair...Ross was on about some job going wrong"

Donna was backing away, "Ok...errrrm...I'll call back later"

Andy frowned at her, "do you want me to tell him you stopped over"

"Nahhh...I'll catch him later, BYE", she sang and was well on her way up the road before Andy had a chance to shut the door.

XXX

Donna decided she would have a coffee at the café. She sat down with one and got a call from the police station, they wanted to see her again. That's all she needed.

Bob came over and sat down opposite her, "Where's April?"

Donna smiled at him, "With Laurel...I just wanted...well...some fresh air"

"You seem abit peeky, are you sure you are alright, I was telling Brenda earlier you looked abit peeky...you said the doctors have given you stronger painkillers yesterday and..."

Donna shook her head at him, "Bob, stop fussing..."

Bob became all serious, "I'm just looking out for you Donna...somebody has to...have you spoken to Scott or Kelly?"

Donna became adamant, "Not yet...and I'm not calling them...last thing I need is them fussing round me...I have a life too you know...sorry, I'm just all over the place at the moment"

Bob put a hand on Donna's arm, "I'm here for you...all you need is to ask, love...trips to the hospital and appointments...if Marlon's not free just say the word"

"thanks Bob"

And she gave him a parting hug before leaving the café.

XXX

Donna walked up the street and saw Ross. He was on his way back towards Andy's house. Donna hurried after him, "Ross...", she called.

Ross stopped and turned at the front door, the key was already in the lock, "What do YOU want?"

Donna stopped near him, he looked well rough his jumper was dirty and he looked abit unwashed, "did you get my text?"

Ross looked at her, like he was trying to figure her out, "I'm not interested"

"I'm sorry...are you not even going to let me explain"

Ross opened the door and turned on the doorstep, his cuts and bruises stood out in the sunshine, "explain what? Why you lied to me? Why you used me? Why you saw this mug coming?"

Donna looked hurt, "Ross...", she whispered.

Ross looked at her and seemed hesitant, then he forced out, " ...just DO one"

And he slammed the door in her face. Donna feeling upset and hurt turned and leaned on the wall catching her breath.

Unbeknown to her, Ross was looking out of the window, she didn't see the concern in his eyes as he saw her struggle back up the road, why had he not noticed all this before?...instead of going out after her, he smashed his fist into the wall in total frustration and took out the plaster.

XXX

Donna tried to compose herself when she reached Tall trees. She wiped her eyes with her finger and then brushed herself down, she then went inside.

Laurel had April and Arthur painting at the kitchen table and the glitter had gone everywhere. Donna breezed out a, "Hiiiii I'm home! Hurrrrr What's all this!"

"I'm making you a card mummy...because you are poorly"

Donna gave Laurel a questioning look.

"She heard me and Marlon talking about the hospital...THAT'S ALL she knows Donna, I promise..."

Donna shook her head and stroked her daughters soft hair. It seemed that it was more of a time than ever that April should know the truth.

If only she could muster up the strength.

XXX

Up at Butlers Farm, Ross was sitting on a haystack with Finn. Finn looked at his brother who appeared to be more greasier than usual.

"What is it? You come up here all mean and moody and having ago at everyone and then you do this"

Ross looked up to him, Finn could see something rare in his brothers eyes. Ross looked distressed.

"What have you done", asked Finn with some edge. This meant trouble no doubt.

"It's killing me Finn...I just want it all to just go away!"

Finn sat next to him, "Ross...what is it? Have you upset someone?"

Ross shook his head and looked at him, "It's me and...Donna...we've been seeing eachother"

Finn didn't look too surprized, "really?"

Ross jumped up at him, "What, you don't believe me, is that it?"

Finn calmed him, "Ross! Stop it...cause I believe you...it's just...a copper? Seriously? Goes against what YOU stand for"

Ross moved towards the barn doors and leaned on a post, his hair fallen to his face, "believe me it took ME to get my head around it..."

Finn stood up and shrugged, "So what is it? Has she binned you off or something...?"

Ross turned and looked at him, "she LIED to me Finn...I've fallen in love for the first time and it's ALL been a total lie!"

Finn swallowed and came forward, "What? What do you mean?"

"She...yes SHE is dying...poor little Donna...SHE'S dying and she's got everyone feeling sorry for her"

This was news to Finn, but then again Finn had been out of the village for a few days.

"Dying? But shes got a little girl, hasn't she? Wait up...didn't THEY know you and her were seeing eachother...or is it just me"

Ross almost burst out in laughter, "That's the BEST bit our kid! I was her DIRTY little secret...and I STILL AM!"

Finn felt for him, "she's out of order...she should've of told you, I give you that"

Ross shrugged his shoulder and dismissed it, "why should SHE care...she feels NOTHING for me...I feel like going round there and..."

"Ross don't"

Ross shook his head, "I'm not...it's only just words...I just wish she'd been honest...it wouldn't have mattered, we still would have got what be both wanted...the money and all that"

Finn screwed his face up, "Money?"

Ross came to his senses, "it doesn't matter...I've sorta came up here to say goodbye mate..."

Finn was opened mouthed, "goodbye?"

Ross came forward and sniffed back the tears, "I'm breaking loose mate...I've done it before, I'll do it again...you're my favourite brother right"

Finn let himself be pulled into a hug, "You're mine", he managed to say.

Ross kissed Finn's forehead and then he pulled away and was off. Finn watched him slope off across the mud and towards the farm gate.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**Will Ross really go? **_


	4. Chapter 4

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

A/N: THANK YOU for the reviews...

XXX

Ross was back home and grabbed his holdal from inside of the wardrobe and threw it onto his bed and started to chuck his stuff into it. He swept a hand through his hair and grabbed his toiletries from the bathroom and was bumping down the stairs to the living room. There he made a sweep through the what was his and then picked up his iPod from the kitchen counter.

Andy was then coming in through the door and was opened mouthed as he saw what Ross was up to.

"What's going on?"

Ross glared at him, "you're not blind I take it"

"You're leaving?"

Ross became sarcastic as he zipped up the holdal, "give the boy a medal", he then put the bag over his shoulder shoved passed Andy and opened the door, Andy wasn't having this, he waved a hand out to him.

"hey? You can't just leave!"

"Watch me!"

" What about the rent!"

Ross looked back at him as to say 'do one'

"Suit yourself but you're not coming back to sleep here", and Andy slammed the door in his face. Ross shook his head, did Andy really think he could give a stuff about the rent? Stuff the rent. Stuff him. Stuff this whole fucking village.

XXX

April was in her bed and Donna had just finished reading her a story.

"You sleepy now?"

April shook her head in her pink pyjamas. Donna swept her hand across her daughters forehead and kissed her.

"Mummy..."

"Yes darling?"

"You know Daddy is going to marry Laurel..."

"yes"

"are you going to marry anybody?"

Donna was taken aback by that question. She leaned over her daughter and smiled at her, "your daddy and Laurel love each other very much darling...that's why they are getting married"

"Will you get married?"

Donna swallowed down hard and tried to be brave for her, "no darling...nobody loves Mummy"

"I love you mummy"

"I know you do sweetheart", and she nestled into her neck, kissed her again, and then switched off the lamp.

"Night night"

And she closed the door behind her.

XXX

"You're going? JUST like that!"

Ross nodded at Debbie in her front room, "I can't stay here no more...I'm sick of it all...I can't stand that old man of mine, what HE did...and then there's this mess with Donna...I've had it up to here!"

Debbie tried to hush him, "Shhushh...Sarah and Jack are asleep", She bit her lip and sat down, she took hold of Ross's dangling hand and made him sit too.

"Have YOU really thought about this? What about your job? What about Finn?"

"I've SEEN Finn...he's okay about it...the rest I don't give a monkeys about"

"Thanks"

Ross looked up at her and felt bad, "I'm here aren't I? You've been good to me after all what's happened..."

Debbie smiled at him, "Well what can I say...i'm a sucker for the bad guy"

"Pete's lucky to have you"

"is he? Why's that? Because it was YOU who turned me down remember"

Ross half smiled at her, he remembered. Debbie sighed and stood up, "Well come on then, give me a hug why don't yah..."

Ross stood and took her into his arms, he laid his chin on her shoulder, "if things had been different, me and you would have sparked "

Debbie laughed it off, "Don't be daft! We would end up killing each other you and me"

Ross pulled awa y and held his face close to Debbie's both searching each others eyes, Ross went to move in and kiss her but Debbie pulled away shrugging it off, Ross sighed and looked at her "Don't you deny we don't have a chemistry between us...you still like me don't yah?"

Debbie tilted her head, "seriously? You are asking me that"

Ross shrugged as he lifted his holdal from the floor, "think of all the fun we could have had"

"Yeah...there's just ONE thing wrong about that"

Ross frowned, "and what's that?"

"I'm NOT Donna...you can block it out of your mind all you like...but how long can you pretend not to care"

Ross swallowed and looked to the floor.

Debbie stepped forward, "Talk to her...if you ARE going...it's only fair you say goodbye because if you don't then you'll never get the chance"

Ross looked up and was shaking his head, "I want to...I just can't bear the thought of her dying...why her? Why does SHE have to have the cancer...why MY girl"

It was hard for Debbie to hear that because she held a firm torch for Ross secretly, although she had Pete.

"yes Ross...YOUR girl...so go see her...before it's too late..."

XXX

Donna was in the kitchen at tall trees. She had got herself a glass of milk and switched off the light and went back upstairs. She was so glad that Marlon and Laurel had gone to bed, they had done nothing but fuss over her all evening.

She closed the bedroom door and went over to the window to pull the curtains.

Outside, Ross was looking up at the cottage from the gate, he could see Donna at the window, she was looking out, but she couldn't see him, Ross felt quite choked up to see her, but he had to go, he had to leave. If he didn't, then he'd lose his mind for sure.

He lifted his phone and pressed call.

XXX

Donna brushed her hair in the mirror and stared at her reflection. She stared at the lovebite that was fading from the top of her right breast and remembered the time he had given it to her...the passion. She smiled sadly then turned and reached for her phone that was on the bed. A missed call? Then she realised it had been on silent.

She put the phone to her ear, and pressed to listen to the message.

She gasped.

"Donna...trust me to get your voicemail...look...I'm really messed up here...I'm confused...I love you so much and all I get is a voice in my head telling me that isn't true...because how can it be? How can a nice girl like you love a complete scumbag like me...and believe me the only person who gets away with calling me a scumbag is me...but I'd let you call me it...I JUST want to know Donna...please...please, I just want to know it all wasn't a lie...call me tomorrow and I'll meet you...if I don't hear from yah...then I'll promise you i'll take the hint..."

end of call.

Donna was in tears, she could detect the shaky emotion in his voice.

Should she call him? Was this fair? It sounded like he was going to leave...maybe that was best for him, for her...

All she knew was...time was running out...

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_**Still enjoying this? Who knows...I might do a happy chapter next time :) Anything YOU want to see happen let me know and I'll see if I can put it in!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

A/N: Another chapter...

XXX

Donna Windsor quickly brushed her hair and then went down stairs to take her medication and have her breakfast. It was still early, and April had managed as usual to get herself up and was watching early morning Cbeebies.

"Mummy are you going to watch midnight garden with me?"

"No sweetheart...Mummy needs to get ready for work", she lied.

Marlon was then standing in the doorway with a mug of tea, "Donna...what are you doing?", he grabbed her hand and led her into the kitchen.

"We all agreed last night...we tell her today"

Donna shook her head at him, "I do KNOW Marlon...how could I forget something like that"

"then WHERE are you off to? Work? April might not know that you don't work no more, but we do"

"They want to see me remember...they want to ask me questions about Gary North's death"

"Why? Who cares! Gary North was a right scumbag by what I've heard...the world's better off without him, what is there left to say?"

Donna sighed, "Ohh Marlon you know what the paperwork is like...I may have been discharged from the force, but I still have to...tie things up", she said thinking on her feet.

"Lunchtime...be BACK by then"

Donna nodded and was off out the back door.

XXX

Donna was on her phone as she walked up the path towards the gate, "It's me...when and where? I can't do 2...then you best get yourself out of bed then...see you up at the cricket pavilion in 10"

She pocketed the mobile and stood taking in some breaths. She then went along her way.

XXX

Up at Butlers farm, Finn watched as Ross was rolling up the sleeping bag and was frantically pulling on his jeans.

"So she whistles and you jump?"

Ross shot his brother a frown, "it's not like that"

Finn laid on his side in his bed, "sounds like it to me...what happened to all the OMG she lied to me and the OMG she used me...last night you were all for clearing off and not coming back, 'till I saw you there on the floor this morning when I woke up"

Ross pushed his hair back with his hands and turned, "I look like shit have you any gel?"

Finn rolled his eyes and nodded his head to the sideboard, Ross took it and looked into the mirror.

Finn shook his head bewildered, it must be love if Ross was caring about what he looked like.

XXX

Donna got herself a bottle of water from the shop. Alicia was praising her up with the newspaper. Donna could see her face on the front page and the death of Gary North.

"It says you brought him down...by all accounts what I have read, you were right Brave you!"

Donna tried to wave it off, "Noooo, just doing my job"

"Well...he looks like a right nasty piece of work him...good on you"

Donna thanked her and was hurrying out the shop and up the road towards the cricket Pavillion. Ross was already there. He was sitting down on the steps and stood up when he saw her approaching.

"You came then", he said.

Donna smiled at him as she came to a halt, "didn't you think I would?"

Ross shrugged as he stared back at her, "I was starting to think that, yeah"

Donna looked down to see the holdal dumped on the grass nearby, "So it's true then, you're leaving"

Ross pulled a face and looked about them, "What is there left for me around here, eh?"

Donna felt bad and stepped forward, "Ross I'm sorry..."

"So you've said..."

Donna thought she was getting through to him, "I MEAN it"

Ross pulled a frown as he was thinking, "Oh right...like YOU meant it when you said you'd run away with me...you me and April, that's what you said"

Donna put her hands into her jacket pocket and tilted her head, "Is that what you want to talk about?"

Ross looked like he did...but he shook it off, "Ohhhh what's the point"

Donna watched him as he went to pick up his holdal, "Then WHY did you call me?"

Ross paused and looked back at her, "I...", he paused and then came out with it, "...I just wanted to say have a nice life"

Donna raised her eyebrows at him, "What's LEFT of it"

Ross was only just realising what he just said, he stepped forward then held back, "Donna I didn't mean that"

Donna turned around and went to sit down on the steps with a shake of the head.

XXX

At Tall trees, Laurel was frowning at Marlon who was on the phone.

"But she said she had an appointment with you this morning...tying stuff up?...I see...no...there must be some mistake on my part...thanks...bye", Laurel could see that Marlon wasn't happy, "What's up? Who was that"

Marlon shook his head in disbelief, "She's done it again...lying to me..."

"But she DID have an appointment with her inspector didn't she...?"

"Not till this afternoon...so WHERE is she now? WHY say she's got her appointment now? Laurel I'm so sick of the lies!"

Laurel watched as Marlon put his jacket on, "keep an eye on April"

Laurel followed him to the door, "Where are you going?"

Marlon opened the door and looked back at her, "What do you think? I'm going to LOOK for her..."

XXX

Ross and Donna sat beside each other on the steps of the cricket pavilion. Ross was trying to understand.

"...this...Mes...mesothingy...you won't get better?"

Donna turned to face him, "Mesothelioma...and no I won't get better because it's terminal..."

Ross looked confused, "but you see it all the time...there must be somekind of treatment or a cure...Donna I don't understand...give me the insides of a motor engine anyday, but when it comes to stuff like this I'm clueless"

Donna took a deep breath and tried again, "...it's a form of lung cancer...and...it's GOING to kill me", she knew it was cruel, but she had to get it through to him.

Ross put his hand to his mouth and looked like he was going to sob his heart out, Donna was now gentle with him. She tried to put her hand into his.

"Ross..."

Ross swept her aside and jumped up in rage.

"I CAN'T HANDLE THIS! WHY DONNA? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!"

Donna remained completely calm and simply asked him, "would YOU have been up for all those jobs if you knew I was dying?"

Ross had his hands to his face and looked at her questioningly, "What?"

"THINK about it Ross...a partner in crime who is dying...not very dynamic, is it? Not very exciting"

Ross looked at her accusingly, "You SHOULD of told me!"

Donna stood up and pulled a face, "Why? Ross, it was ALL about the money at first...and it was for YOU too...I didn't think you'd fall for me..."

Ross pointed to his chest, "so it's just ME then?"

Donna shook her head, "No...me too"

Ross's face softened and the confusion came back, "how am I supposed to believe that Donna?"

Donna shrugged, "You just have to take my word for it I suppose..."

Ross laughed at her and shook his head in disbelief, "Your word? I have to take your word for it? Like when you said we'd have a future together, that kind of 'your word'?"

Donna was losing him, "Ross...I'm so sorry"

Ross was emotionally screwed up, "YOU my girl, have hurt me like nobody else ever has...I can't see a way out of this...never"

Donna had a tear running dow her cheek now, "you don't mean that"

Ross grabbed his holdall and shook his head defiantly at her, "you watch me"

Donna turned around and watched him go, "Ross...don't go please"

Ross paused in his tracks but didn't face her, "there's NOTHING to stay for"

Donna swallowed down the painful lump in her throat, "no...I suppose there's not"

Still not looking at her Ross carried on, "...and besides...like you said...you've only got a matter of weeks to live...you need to spent all that time with your little girl"

"I will"

"best be off then"

Donna was silently crying, "bye then"

Ross went to move but he too burst into tears. The holdal was hurtled to the ground in tears of anger.

Donna came to him and put her palm to his stubbled face to turn it round, the hot tears were falling.

"no"

"Shushhh" said Donna.

"please Donna don't"

"Shusshh"

They stood together head to head both crying and both looking into each others eyes Ross moved hos mouth towards hers, before they sensed someone watching them.

Both turned their heads to see an angry and shocked Marlon standing there...

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_**Keep the reviews/comments coming love to know your opinions.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

XXX

Donna let go of Ross's hands and gasped out; "Marlon"

Marlon stepped forward, he really wasn't liking what he saw in front of him, "What's this? Why are you..."

Donna was shaking her head at him, "Marlon...it's not what you think"

Ross looked at her in complete amazement, he shook his head and blurted out, "YOU are unbelievable! You nearly had me then...you nearly had me believing your lies"

Marlon suddenly leapt forward and grabbed Ross by the lapels, "WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT FOR?"

Ross looked over at Donna and she was so desperate, she had that pleading look upon her face as to say 'please don't tell him'. Ross met Marlon's stare and shook his head, "It's NOTHING...she's just got it in for me like the rest of the coppers do...must be my face"

"It must be", said Donna, her voice brittle.

Marlon let go of Ross who immediately picked up his holdal, he shot a glare at Donna, then was on his way back down the hill. Marlon came to Donna's side as she watched him go, "You don't have to worry about him...looks like he's clearing off somewhere", he reassured.

Donna shook her head and faced him, "What are you doing here...are you following me?"

"No...look...the station called...you appointment is this afternoon...why did you say it was this morning for?"

Donna didn't want to talk about this, she started to walk down the hill, Marlon went after her, "Donna! What is it? Why are you lying to us..."

Donna turned and looked totally distraught, "I just WANTED something for myself...I just WANTED some time alone...I just WANTED to...", she looked like she was going to upset herself as she looked down to the village.

Marlon took her hand, "Come on...you look cold...we don't have to go straight back home...go to the café, shall we?"

Donna nodded, and, hand in hand, they went down the hill.

XXX

Debbie was opening up the garage when she turned and saw Ross sitting up against the wall staring into space.

"Ross? I thought YOU were long gone..."

Ross looked up at her and shrugged, "then you were wrong..."

Debbie went over and crouched down, she put a hand over his knee, "Ross what is it? Why didn't you go?"

Ross met her eyes, "Where is there to go? I had this flat that I got for me and her...Donna...it was there for us to lie low after that job...couldn't face going there"

Debbie smiled at him, "You've still got your job here, you know"

Ross looked at her questioningly, "What is it with HER? Why can't she just...", he stopped.

Debbie guessed this was about Donna, "She's got a lot on her mind Ross...Marlon said something about them telling April today"

Ross stood up and nodded over towards the motors awaiting to be serviced, "make a start on those shall I"

Debbie's eyes followed him and she shook her head, she watched as he pulled on the overalls stealing glances over towards the café, she had seen Marlon go in there with Donna just now, he must have too.

XXX

Marlon finished his coffee. Donna was just staring into hers. Bob came over and wiped the table next to them, "Still set for 12 o clock over yours is it?"

Donna looked puzzled, Marlon shook his head, "Yes Bob...April needs to know"

Bob nodded and went to help Brenda at the counter, Marlon turned his head to face Donna.

"So how long has it been going on for?"

Donna looked surprized, "What?"

"You and Ross? Donna I'm NOT blind...I saw you two up there...have YOU been seeing him? Is HE the reason you have been acting all wierd lately"

Donna was too tired to fight or argue. She sat back in the chair and simply nodded a yes.

Marlon couldn't disguise his disgust, "You and him? You do KNOW what kind of creature that is don't you? He's the one who..."

Donna shook her head, "I know Marlon! Why do you think I didn't say anything"

Marlon was shaking, trying to get his head around it, " What am I going to say to Laurel? You do know she is going to freak out when we tell her"

Donna was confused by that, "Why tell her? What's the point, it's over between me and him now anyway...it was only just a bit of fun"

"a bit of fun?"

Donna shook her head, "yes...I AM allowed a life aren't I? Do you KNOW what it's like being treated like...like a...I don't know...a victim...everyone feeling sorry for me...I hate it Marlon..."

"Does that scumbag know about the cancer?"

"He does now...that's why it's over"

"good...then lets say no more about it"

XXX

At 12, April was sitting on the sofa at Tall Trees. Donna, Laurel, Marlon and Bob were all in the room with her.

Donna and Marlon glanced at one another then both faced April.

"Sweetheart...we have to tell you something", began Donna.

April looked up at them, "What...have I got another present for me?"

"No sweetheart...it's not...", Donna was shaking, Marlon took her hand. Laurel's eyes set on them when they did.

"Mummy...Mummy's going away soon...and she's not going to come back", Donna said fighting back the tears.

April frowned at her, "Where Mummy? I want to come too"

Donna was shaking her head, "No you can't come with me...it's too soon for you...but I will look down on you...I promise", her voice became high pitched and Bob closed his eyes feeling her pain.

Marlon smiled at his daughter, "I will be there... I will always be there for you...I'm not going anywhere"

"I want Mummy"

Donna closed her eyes. She wished she didn't have to do this, it was criminal.

Marlon squeezed Donna's hand. Laurel was watching.

"Laurel is going to look after you too...she's going to do that for Mummy", Marlon told her.

"But Mummy will be coming back though, won't you Mummy?"

Donna stood up and went to the kitchen feeling sick. The news wasn't going to get through tp her...and it won't do...not till she dies, not till she is dead and was never coming back.

XXX

In the pub, Ross was up at the bar drinking. His holdal dumped on the floor. Finn and Pete looked at one another. James was with Chas behind the bar.

"What's wrong with him? Why is he being more moodier than usual?"

Finn knew the answer, "He's..."

"He's what son?", asked James.

"He's just got things on his mind"

All turned to see Donna enter with Marlon and Bob.

"I'm sorry Marlon, but I couldn't stay round there...she's not taking it in...she doesn't understand and why should she? She's just a little girl"

Marlon shook his head, he glared at Ross who was looking back at them. The bad boy downed his drink and watched Donna come to the bar, he looked at her bitterly, "careful girl...you don't want to be seen standing near a complete scumbag like me...", he slurred.

Debbie was then standing with Pete, she waved a hand towards Ross, "How many has he had?"

"one after the other" Pete told.

Debbie glared at Donna, "Now can you SEE what you've done...can you?"

Marlon was then on his way over, he took Donna's arm, "Donna come on...sit down I'll get them in"

Bob patted the seat next to him, "Come on love...come sit next to me..."

Donna looked at Ross. Ross was looking forlornly at her.

"He knows about us...", she whispered, "Marlon knows..."

Marlon got the tray of drinks Chas set up and pulled Donna to the table and to Bob. Ross looked back at them. Donna had told Marlon. He knew about them...she TOLD him...that meant...that meant he must mean SOMETHING to her...

He turned and headed over to them just as Laurel came in through the doors to join them. Marlon looked up at Ross, "What do YOU want?"

Laurel was a tad nervous around him. Ross looked at Donna who was shaking, "I'm glad Donna told you about us...there was me thinking she were a right cold bitch but she DOES care...don't yah?"

Laurel frowned in puzzlement, Marlon stood up and faced up to him, "GET OUT ROSS NOW!"

Donna was shaking, Bob was looking at her...there was disappointment in his eyes. Ross was clenching his fists and was ready to belt Marlon one. James and Pete held him back, "Ross come on man...don't do this..."

Ross was trying to shake them off, "You don't get it do you? Me and her...me and Donna...we are together...we love eachother...that's what she said!"

Finn closed his eyes.

Bob stood up and yelled, "get him OUT of here"

Donna sat there...she wanted to go and crawl into a hole. Laurel was now facing her, her face showing her dismay, "how could you Donna...after what HE did to me..."

Ross was yelling as he was being dragged out of the pubs doors, "Donna! Donna!"

Donna stood up and made for the door, Marlon stopped her, "Donna don't..."

They had a moment between them, then she went through the doors. Outside Ross was on the ground, he was sobbing. Donna came forward and crouched down and beside him, she touched his face.

"Ross..."

"Donna...I can't bear it...I can't bear it no more...Why did you say all those things? Why did you lie to me...why make me fall in love with you...it's not fair"

She had his head in her lap and she stroked his hair as he sobbed.

She felt so guilty, because all this was her fault. She had let him fall in love with her. It was cruel. And now she was realising how much he was suffering.

And so was someone else. She looked up to see Debbie staring at them and the mechanic narrowed her eyes at her...

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_**Always loving your reviews...keep them coming...feedback is good :)**_


	7. Chapter 7

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

A/N: Chapter 7 of 15

XXX

On the forecourt of the pub, Ross stood up and looked at Donna. She glanced at Bob who took her arm, but Laurel was in her face, "Why Donna WHY?"

Donna's eyes were all over the shop, Bob turned, "just calm down...lets not do this on the street"

Marlon came forward and took Laurel's arm, she glared at him but let herself be led away from the pub. Donna's eyes were on Ross again, he kept looking at her...he looked so lost.

What had she done to him.

Bob turned to her, "Lets go back to the flat...let a chance for Marlon and Laurel to calm down shall we"

Debbie was still giving her the evil eye. Why? What had she ever done to her.

Pete turned to his brother, "Is this all true? Have you been seeing her?"

Ross looked like he was going to thump in one, but Debbie got in between the both of them, "Come on you two..."

"I'm just surprized that's all...Ross FALLS for a girl instead of using them as a bed for the night...just abit hard to take in that's all"

Ross grabbed him by the lapels, "DO YOU WANT A SLAP!"

Debbie was forcing them apart. James was coming forward, "enough! I don't want you two to end up fighting"

Debbie sighed and pointed to her house to Ross, "Ross go inside"

Ross glared at her, "Why? What's all this to you"

Debbie was firm with him, "Just GO inside"

Pete didn't like the sound of this. Not long ago Ross was sniffing around Debs wanting a crack at it, why was she inviting him inside for.

"What's going on Debs?", he asked taking her arm and watching Ross slope across the road towards the house.

"You've seen what he's like...he's in a bad way...I can talk to him"

Pete held his hands out to her, "Why You? What's so special about you? If HE isn't in the mood for listening..."

"I can handle him, Pete...he doesn't scare me..."

James came forward, "well if he DOES cause you any grieve you know where we are"

Debbie nodded and watched as Pete walked off with his family, he didn't like it, but he had to trust Debs or their relationship wasn't worth anything.

She turned on her heels, looked at her house, then made her way back.

XXX

As Donna entered Bob and Brenda's place, she was fuming, and it was taking up all her strength.

"How dare she look at me like that!"

Bob thought she was talking about Laurel, "She is upset, love...it must be a bit of a shock for her"

Donna bit her lip, she was actually thinking of Debbie, but she felt bad for Laurel. It must have been a shock for her, Bob was right.

"I need to get going soon...I have to see my Inspector...he wants to go over my statement about Gary North"

Bob sat down, "Come and sit down love...you've got a bit of time before you need to go, 3 Oclock wasn't it? I'll drive you into Hotten when it's time"

Donna looked at Bob sadly, "I know Debbie's always liked him...but the look she gave me...and what she said to me in the pub...I know Ross more than she does...how his mind works, how dare she"

Bob sighed at her, "I'm really am lost here, love...what's going on? YOU and Ross?"

Donna knew she had a lot of explaining to do, "Yes...Oh Bob it's all such a mess..."

XXX

Over at Tall Trees, Laurel was still reeling about what happened at the pub, "I still can't believe it...", she whispered.

Marlon looking close to tears stood there and shook his head, "I know..."

Laurel was going over it again and again in her mind, "HIM of ALL people..."

Marlon shook his head again, " I know..."

Laurel looked up at him slowly, remembering what was said in the pub, "...and YOU knew about this?...Marlon?"

Marlon shook his head and met her tearful gaze, "Yes...but it was TODAY...she-she told me today..."

Laurel started pacing the room, " I just can't get my head around this Marlon...Donna KNEW what he did to me..."

Marlon was trying to find excuses for it, "She's just mixed up...it's the cancer...it HAS to be...making her do things she wouldn't normally do..."

"Even so..."

Marlon tried to tread carefully when he said, "Aren't you being just a little over the top over this..."

Laurel was shocked and horrified over that remark, "What? I can't believe you just said that!"

"I didn't mean that"

"NO MARLON...I STILL have nightmares...I can STILL see his eyes staring at me in that car...cold...evil...you don't know what that man is capable of...and SHE...DONNA put April had risk"

Marlon perched on the arm of the chair and closed his hands together, "Now you ARE being OTT"

Laurel was beginning to pick up a vibe here, "You...You still love her, don't you?"

Caught off guard Marlon turned away and shook his head, " what?"

Laurel followed him into the kitchen, "it's a simple enough question Marlon...all this concern for her...if you are talking about being OTT, then you better take a long look at yourself..."

Marlon swung around, "What"

"YOU Marlon! By the way you are acting you'd mistaken it as jealousy...is it Marlon...are you jealous of her and Ross..."

Marlon was out the back door, "I can't do this right now...I'm gonna collect April from Brenda"

XXX

Donna was still with Bob at his place. She had explained about her feelings for Ross.

"I'm sorry Bob"

Bob pulled a sigh, the mug of tea in his tight grasp, "Well...I can't say I'm too surprized"

Donna looked up at him and pushed her hair behind her ear, "What do you mean?"

"I said the other day in the café that there was something cheeky about him, something bubbling away beneath the surface...now we know what"

Donna felt bad, "It wasn't planned"

"Was it something that just happened?"

Donna shook her head, "yes...I tried to fight it...but you can't help who you fall for..."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes...and I know what he did to Laurel was...I can't even begin to explain or make excuses for him..."

Bob leaned forward, "I'm more worried about you love..."

"Ross would NEVER hurt me...and I'm worried about him...and what I have done to him...and how I'm ever going to put all this right..."

Bob could see she was getting upset and he went over and pulled her into a hug, "We'll sort it out...I promise it will all work out just fine..."

XXX

After complaining that he stunk to high heaven, Ross took the hint and went up for a shower over at Debbies.

Debbie sat on the sofa on her iPhone to Pete.

"What was all that about Ross? Is he still there?"

"In the shower...he's a mess Pete"

"Is there something I should know...?"

Debbie was annoyed by that...but felt guilty too...it had been sometime since having Ross to herself like this.

"NO! Why should there be?"

"All this overly concern for him for a start...why is he YOUR problem? He's MY brother...he should be here so we can all kick him up the backside"

"That's NOT what he needs right now Pete and YOU know that..."

"He's just got it bad over a girl...he'll..."

"Donna USED him...I know she is dying...I know it's really bad of me to say that...but it's true...she made him fall for her and she was lying to him all along..."

"If you put it like that, I guess I'll call you later...just don't take any crap off him"

"I won't see you soon..."

Debs ended the call and went to the foot of the stairs, Ross was out of the shower and in the bedroom with a towel around his waist. His hair and body dripping wet from the shower.

"I just had Pete on the phone..."

"All overly concerned is he? Or is he just worried that I'm around here in your bedroom and not him"

"Awwww, don't be like that"

Ross looked at her, "I heard you...and you're wrong...Donna didn't use me...it was all about the money in the beginning, I'd be the first to admit that because It was the same for me...but...you don't know us...how me and her were together"

"SHE used to Ross...plain and simple"

"You don't know anything...anyway, it was YOU who were sticking up for her before...saying I should say goodbye to her and all that...saying that she put her kid first like YOU would and would do the same...you said that"

Debs stepped forward. Ross's bare chest was puffing in and out as he was getting worked up, "I did yes...but NOW I can see what she's done to you...look at you for god sake...you've totally lost over her"

She placed the palm of her hand onto the stubble of his face, "You are hurting and I just want to make it right for you"

"Don't do this"

"You said WE had a connection...a chemistry...WE HAVE...we have Ross"

Ross was searching her eyes and she his, then she kissed him and he kissed her back, they fell to the bed and Ross leaned over her.

"I just need the hurt to go..."

"Then let me take it away from you..."

"What about Pete..."

Debbie put a finger to his lips to quiet him.

Ross leaned in and Debbie met his mouth as they rolled on the bed. She was now on top of him looking down at him. She pulled her top off and they embarked on a night of passion that could only make things worse for them...

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_**Thanks for all the reviews. Your opinion and feed back help me write this story...don't be too dismayed about the last scene in this chapter...it's not over for Ross and Donna yet :)**_


	8. Chapter 8

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 8/15

XXX

Ross looked towards the window as the sun was beginning to rise. Reaching out, he grabbed his phone from the side and saw that it was nearly 6.30.

He lifted himself up onto his elbows and turned to see Debbie come in the bedroom with her dressing gown on.

"Morning"

Ross looked at her then jumped out of bed and quickly pulled on his boxers.

"Ohhh don't be shy, I HAVE seen it all before...", Debbie said sitting on the end of the bed.

Ross pushed his hair back with his hands, "I can't Debbie"

Debbie frowned at him, "What?"

Ross motioned the bed with his hands, "THIS...you and me...I'm sorry, but it's just not gonna happen"

Debbie was caught totally off guard, but then again, Ross was really unpredictable at the moment over everything that has happened to him.

"But...", she managed.

Ross was pulling on his T-shirt and grabbing up his jeans from the carpet, "I love her Debbie...I can't do this..what am I playing at"

In this case, Debbie thought the cruel to be kind approach was better, "Ross! There is NO you and her...how can there be"

Ross was looking totally confused at her. He was looking at her all questioningly, "WHY are you being like this? WHY are you trying to turn me against her?"

Debbie bit her bottom lip. She did sound a bit harsh. She changed tactic with him as she watched him sit on the bed slipping on his trainers.

"If I never...you know...messed you around before, did you mean what you said...about us sparking"

Ross was shaking his head and not looking at her, "I'm not listening..."

Debbie jumped up and screamed at him because she wanted to get through that thick skull of his, "ROSS YOU HAVE TOO! Believe me or not, but I actually LIKE Donna...I've known her a long time...BUT THERE IS NO FUTURE WITH HER IS THERE!"

Ross looked totally gutted by the last of that statement, "Thanks for reminding me...it's not that it's been going around and around in my head all day and all night long, is it"

Debbie softened her tone for him, "It's true...and you KNOW it's true"

Ross swallowed down then stood up and faced her, "So what's this then? You and me... are you obsessed with me or sommit?"

Debbie shook her head at him, "What?"

Ross raised his eyebrows at her, "Simple enough question girl...just take a look at yourself, sniffing round me like you've never at it so good...what's changed? Pete not BIG enough for you, is he?", his tone of voice was cutting.

Debbie was already leaving by the door to the landing, "I'm not going there"

Ross was following her down the stairs, "Maybe I should tell him, eh? Make him see that you are a lying cheating bitch!"

Debbie grabbed the post and turned around, "You wouldn't? You'd go to those lengths of hurting your own brother because you are so messed up over your precious dying Donna"

If looks could kill.

"...sorry...Ross...I didn't mean it to come out like that"

Ross hinted a sneery smile, a nasty payback smile, "tell Pete? Maybe I should...I mean, like you said, it's all over between me and Donna now...so it looks like I'm gonna have to get my kicks from somewhere else..."

Ross then was out the front door, Debbie still in her dressing gown hurried after him calling out.

"ROSS! ROSS DON'T! ROSS..."

But he was long gone.

XXX

Donna sat in front of the mirror and sighed, she smiled because she could hear April downstairs telling Laurel what she wanted for breakfast.

She felt tired this morning. She needed another painkiller. One of the stronger ones. Life was running out and there was so much she wanted to do with it.

She turned and reached for her rucksack and put her hand within the folds and pulled out the cash...did Ross still have his share? Did she even need hers? Yes she had done all this for April, but did she really need it when she had Marlon and Laurel to dote on her.

Ross would be the one who would want to run away. Poor bloke. What had she done to him? He looked so distraught.

Ross made her heart miss a beat and you know that feeling. That was when you just knew the feeling in your heart is love...real love.

She swallowed and picked up her phone, she scrolled down to R and pondered what to do...

XXX

Debbie meanwhile had caught up with Ross at the café. Brenda was looking at him a bit strangely and Ross leaned into her barking out, "Why are you looking at me like that for, do you want a picture?"

Debbie pulled him over to the sofa seats and they sat.

"Are you following me...?"

"Ross...I need to know you are not going to do anything stupid"

"Awwwww...look at you", started Ross liking that she was running scared, "...'no please don't tell Pete', look at you...look at you doing all your pleading act at him"

Debbie was about to say something when Ross's phone went off and he pulled it out from his jeans pocket. His eyes sparkled.

"It's Donna..."

Debbie rolled her eyes and sat back as he took the call.

"...Donna? Yeah...you want to meet me? No, I'll pick YOU up...you just say where and when I'm all yours..."

Debbie could see the dig he was having at her...but at least this would distract him from going to Pete and telling him about last night.

Ross ended the call and stood up pocketing the phone, "As much as I love to stay and have a chat with yous Debs...I have better things to do", he flashed her a grin.

Debbie looked up at him, "just don't get your hopes up, Ross...are you determined to keep on torturing yourself?"

Ross paused at the door looking back at her. Food for thought? No, he turned and was gone.

XXX

Donna came down the stairs and glanced at Laurel in the kitchen. She looked at her, both finding it a bit awkward after all what happened the day before.

Donna stroked her daughters head then broke the ice, "do you mind taking April to that painting club..."

Laurel half shook her head, "I'm taking Arthur and Leo anyway"

Donna sat at the table, "thanks..."

Laurel stopped the washing up and turned to her, "Donna, WE need to talk"

Donna knew that was coming, she looked at her, "If this is about me and Ross, I'm..."

Laurel interrupted and sat down, "I just don't understand it Donna, how can you even have feelings for a bloke like him?"

Donna tried to be tactful, "you don't know him like I do..."

Laurel raised her eyebrows, "Marlon isn't happy about it...nor am I...we had such a row"

Donna turned away, "I heard...and I feel so bad...the LAST thing I need is April's future to be jeopardized..."

Laurel sensed the direction this was heading in, "Oh? What do you mean..."

"I've called Ross...I am going to tell him I don't want to see him ever again..."

Laurel seemed happy to hear that, it clearly showed up on the expression on her face, "That would be for the best"

Donna nodded, agreeing, "yes...April comes first...just as long as everybody is happy..."

Laurel got the hint. There was a double meaning in that sentence.

"That's not fair"

Donna shrugged at her tearfully, "No it's not, because the only bit of happiness I get the chance to have...I can't have"

Laurel stood up and went to the sink, she put her back to it and took in a deep breath because she really couldn't believe what she was going to say.

"He means THAT much to you"

Donna sadly smiled at her, "My hearts breaking Laurel...and I still have to tell him I can never see him no more...I never expected to fall for another man again, and here I am"

Laurel couldn't do it. She wasn't that selfish, and it was if you are going to dictate the rules. Donna put her jacket on and went tp the door.

"Donna wait...for the life of me I will never understand what you see in that...man...but what YOU have to face in the near future...the pain and emotion of leaving your little girl behind, I can't even begin to comprehend...look...what I'm saying is...if Ross of all people can ease that pain if for only a little bit...who am I to judge..."

Donna smiled at her and they hugged each other before Donna left by the door.

XXX

At the garage Debbie was running along as Ross reversed the battered Ford Fiesta out of the forecourt.

"Ross! You can't just take somebody's car!"

Ross had the window down and laughed at her, "I can do what I want"

"Pleasse don't tell Pete..."

Ross shrugged and faced front, "what good will it do...I feel sorry for him...I feel SO guilty about what we did because of HOW I feel about Donna...I love her...but you and Pete? You don't love our Pete...not if you don't regret what we did...you're quick to slag what me and Donna ever had...what does that say about yours and Pete's relationship?"

And the he put his foot down and was off with the screech of the tyres. Debbie was left reeling.

XXX

Marlon was coming in through the front door, "Where's Donna going? I've just seen her walking towards the bridge..?"

Laurel took in a deep breath before answering because it was going to go down like a lead balloon.

"She's going to go see Ross"

"What? And YOU let her!"

Laurel was trying to get the kids ready, " Marlon...she's only got a few weeks left and although it sticks in my throat, if Ross of all people can make it easier for her...then why not, crazy as it sounds"

Marlon was thinking this was not about that at all, " are you sure you are not saying that because YOU think I'm still in love with her? She's got Ross and is no threat"

Laurel denied that sharply, "No!"

"Sounds like it to me...because now she thinks we are okay over it...thanks Laurel...you've played a right blinder..."

XXX

Donna waiting by the bridge as Ross pulled up in the battered car. Donna went to the window, both smiling at one another.

"Wow is this the Ferrari !...I wasn't sure you wanted to meet?", Donna said.

At the wheel Ross shrugged at her playfully, "Well I did have to consult my busy diary to see if I could fit you in..."

Donna bounced off that with a return, "...I can always reschedule if you are TOO busy..."

Both of them laughed and Ross nodded his head, "Jump in"

Donna rounded to the passenger side and got in, then belted up. Ross looked at her and became all serious, "I'd gladly just chuck away the diary to spend ALL my time with you"

Donna mesmerised by his dark eyes, "Does that mean you still want to carry on seeing me...?"

"If that's what you are offering"

Donna became sad and looked down to her lap, "I've only got a few weeks, Ross..."

Ross was fully aware of that, "I know"

Donna swallowed down then put her hand on the top of Ross's knee-cap, "Just don't you ever say I never warned you when it's..."

"Shuuushh...does this mean we're back together"

Donna shook a yes at him.

Ross looked pleased as punch, he turned in his seat and leaned in for a kiss...it was warm and lingering. Donna put her hand on his stubble and stroked him.

"Donna you'll never regret this...I'm so made up", there was tears in his eyes.

Donna smiled at him, "So am I...but Ross...please PROMISE me one thing...?"

"ANYTHING FOR YOU"

Donna became a little emotional, "Don't change...don't treat me like I'm ill...treat me the same as you did"

Ross shook his head but was insistent about one thing, "No more dodgy jobs...we play it straight"

"Good, that's that sorted", she sat back in her seat and sighed, she then faced him, her eyes playful, "...Ross have you still got your share of the money?"

Ross pulled her across so she laid her head on his chest, "yeah...it's in my holdal...why?"

Donna looked up at him from where she laid her head, "then lets spend some of it...lets live a bit dangerously...I still want some excitement"

Ross laughed and kissed her forehead, "I'll see what I can do...but in the mean time can I do just ONE thing..."

Her eyes met his, "What?"

"Can I rub Marlon's face in it?"

Donna looked at him like he was being naughty, "You are SO bad", she playfully cooed.

"I know...I just can't help myself..."

XXX

_**Although I have finished this story and the ending is..?..I like to tease what's to come**_

_**Chapter 9: Ross takes Donna to a nightclub.**_

_**Chapter 10: Donna is left confused by a confession**_

_**Chapter 11: Marlon sticks the knife in at Ross over 'that kiss'**_

Again, your feedback is important to me, any remaining chapters can be tweaked but not changed, but if it is at all possible I will add things in what you want to see happen.


	9. Chapter 9

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 9/15

XXX

_**BANK HOLIDAY AUGUST.**_

"I don't like this..."

Laurel came in through from the kitchen with a couple of wine glasses in her grasp, "She insists she is fine, Marlon...she could do with a night out"

Marlon put the cork screw into the bottle of red, "I know that...it's just HIM"

Laurel put the wine glasses down and looked at him as he pulled out the cork, "We've been through this a million times...I don't like it just as much as you don't...but we can't keep her here prisoner...she's entitled to a life"

Marlon shrugged, "We'll see"

Both turned to see Donna come down the stairs, her clutch-bag in her hand, "Well...April's been all tucked in...you SHOULDN'T get a peep out of her...I think she's exhausted herself on the swings", she laughed.

Marlon looked at her closely, "You look exhausted...are you sure you are up for this night out?"

Laurel gave him a sharp look, "Marlon"

The chef tried to excuse himself, " I'm only asking..."

Donna tried to be all reassuring with them both, "I'm FINE...Ross said we are not making it late..."

Laurel ignored Marlon's scowl at Ross's name and made the effort for Donna and took an interest, "So...where's he taking you?"

Donna laughed, "He said it was a surprise"

"Probably joy-riding...", mumbled Marlon, Laurel scowled at him and then praised Donna, "You look nice...doesn't she look NICE Marlon?"

Marlon half looked at her as he thumbed through some DVD's, "Hmmmmm...for his benefit is it?"

Donna didn't see why she needed to hide it, "of course...he likes me in this"

Laurel scrutinised it more, "Ohhh, that's the outfit you wore for Cain and Moira's wedding, wasn't it...it really suits you"

Donna smiled at Laurel, she knew it was hard for her to be nice about her seeing the dreaded Ross, but she was making an effort for her, "thanks Laurel...", she grabbed her cardy and made for the front door, "...right I best be off...don't wait up"

"Have a nice time", called Laurel with a smile and then Donna was gone. Marlon sat on the sofa with his wine and the TV remote, "I bet she comes back tired"

Laurel rolled her eyes and sat next to him, "You can't leave it alone can you? You've got to have your little digs...she does notice it you know"

Marlon looked at her and waved out a hand, "What does HE know about her condition anyway?"

Laurel picked up her glass of red and turned to him, "Probably just as much as you do...nobody knows better than her...now come on, are we watching this DVD or not..."

XXX

Donna waited by the bridge as Ross pulled up in a big red Ferrari. Donna couldn't hold in her excitement, she was opened mouthed and screeching, "Wow!"

Ross had his head stuck out the window, "Didn't I say I'd get you there in style!"

Donna was amazed and was in awe of the car, "You did...but just LOOK at this!"

Ross was more interested in her, he raised his eyebrows looking pleased on what she was donning, "You wore that dress for me?"

Donna stood back and laughed, "I might of...I see the grey suits having another airing..."

Ross nodded to the passenger seat beside him, "You best get in so I can get a closer look girl"

Donna tottered round in her high heels and gets in, Ross's eyes feasting on her legs as she tried to push her dress down, "Wow...real leather...this is flash, where did you get it?"

Ross shrugged and pulled a face, "I nicked it"

Donna's face was a picture she looked at him opened mouthed, "What...!", she was looking around for the cops.

Ross broke into a cheeky grin, "Your face...gets me every time"

Donna playfully punched his upper arm, "You!"

Ross laughed, "I've borrowed it off a mate of mine in town...HE might've nicked it though..."

Donna raised her eyebrows in question not sure if he was still having her on, "really?"

Ross put the car in gear and glanced at her, a twinkle in his eyes, "I won't say anything if you don't"

Donna fastened her seatbelt, "you are SO naughty"

Ross leaned over and kissed on the cheek, "YOU wanted excitement girl! And besides, that's why you love me..."

He then put his foot down on the accelerator and Donna gasped out an excited, "Woahhhh!", as they sped off.

XXX

In the back room of the pub, Chas closed the door on the last Barton boy to arrive in the room. Finn sighed and plonked himself down in the armchair, "Why are we here?

Pete looked annoyed too, "Yeah...I was banking on spending sometime with Debs and the kids this evening..."

James glanced at Chas, then he stepped forward, "I need to talk about Ross"

Pete looked at his father, "What about him...?"

James enlightened them, "Donna, that's what...we need to think ahead...we need to think about when she dies and how it is going to effect him"

Finn blew out a laughed, it was plain obvious how Ross would react, "Ross'll lose it"

"Exactly"

Pete frowned at them, "what can we do? We can't go round there and politely ask Donna not to die so as not to push Ross totally over the edge of sanity, can we"

James pressed forward, "NO...but we can keep an eye on him"

Finn was a bit cynical if this little family meeting had another goal too, "is this meant to bring us closer together, is it? After ALL what's happened to this family...shouldn't Adam be here"

James looked pleadingly down at his youngest son, "can we PLEASE just put all our differences aside just for tonight"

Pete shook his head and summed it up, "I must admitt...Ross have NEVER been like this before...he's never been in love"

Finn looked at him, "It's the heartbroken bit you have to be more worried about"

James sat down and looked at his son's in turn, "which is why we are here...we just need to be ready for when it does happen...and with what I've heard...that's not going to be very long..."

XXX

Donna was stood up at the bar in the nightclub. DJ FRESH's louder was playing out and she looked around at the revelling clubbers. It was such a long time ago she had chance to do this.

Ross was then beside her with what she wanted, "There you go...a straw..."

"Awwwwwww, my hero"

"That as well may be...but I looked a right Pratt over there asking for one"

Donna took a suck of her drink and turned to him, "what you do for me"

Ross put his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him so he could kiss the side of her head, "Well...just for you...SO...have you been here before?"

Donna looked about the place and smiled back at him, "Only when there was a need to chuck out the undesirables...you know, when I was a copper"

Ross laughed and turned her around so he could look at her, "I was PROBABLY one of those undesirables...nicking cars and getting into fights"

Donna put her hand on his cheek and stroked his stubble, "not any more though..."

Ross swallowed and they kissed, he pulled back and turned to see what he had been waiting for, "look, a table's become free...you wanna go sit down?"

Donna pulled a face at him, "You not want to go dance with me?"

Ross frowned at her, "Errrr...Dance?"

Donna laughed at him, "yes! It's when you move your body to the beat and wiggle your bum a bit!"

Ross looked pleased by that description, "I'll tell you what...I'm prepared to sit this one out and watch YOU wiggle your bum at me"

Donna was opened mouth and blew out a laugh, "That's so cheesy!"

Ross laughed and he took her hand and kissed it, before leading her to the bar, "that's me...come on, I'll buy you another drink"

XXX

At Tall Trees cottage, Laurel could see that Marlon was distracted from the DVD. She glared at him, "Aren't you not watching this film or not Marlon...Rhona has to take it back tomorrow...but then again she and Paddy have gone away over the Bank Holiday...are YOU even listening to me?"

Marlon tilted his head as he listened towards the stairs, "Was that April again?"

Laurel pressed pause on the film and looked at him, "Why don't you go read her that story she wants"

Marlon looked like he was in two minds to. Then he looked at her, "Do you think I should call Donna?"

Laurel raised her eyebrows at him, "What, and spoil her night out?"

Marlon stood up and went to the stairs, "Yeah...I know that...but if April's unsettled...", he trailed off.

Laurel was insistent because she wasn't too sure of the real reason to call Donna, "No Marlon, April's fine...and besides, Donna said she won't be too late...just give it a couple of hours"

Reluctantly. Marlon shook his head.

XXX

At the Nightclub, Donna was in the toilets. She checked her makeup, then felt giddy and weak. She took in some deep breaths. She went into a cubicle and took her tablets out of her clutch-bag and chucked a few down her throat. Alcohol and medication...not a good mix, but she hoped for the best.

She flushed the toilet, feeling a bit better and left the ladies to see Ross waving over at her from the bar, "Donna..."

Donna smiled at him and went to go over to him. Suddenly out of nowhere there was a punch up and Donna went flying to the floor as she was knocked. Ross darted over and helped her up, then making sure she was okay, he turned and grabbed the lad by his lapels and had him up against the wall.

"CAN YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID! YOU KNOCKED MY GIRLFRIEND OVER AND THAT MAKES ROSS A VERY ANGRY GUY!"

Donna went over and placed her hand over his shoulder, "Ross...it's okay"

"NO IT'S NOT OKAY!"

"Ross please...don't spoil it", pleaded Donna.

Ross glanced at her, she looked tired. He shoved the lad aside and held her, Donna's head rested on Ross's shoulder, "All this has been too much for you...why do I ALWAYS get it wrong!"

Donna lifted her head and kissed his cheek, "I just need a sit down sweetheart, that's all"

Ross met her gaze and they kissed again, before he led her hand in hand to a table.

XXX

Back at the village, Marlon was up in April's bedroom with the storybook. April was jumping up and down on the bed in her pyjamas, "I want MUMMY to read to me...I want Mummy"

Marlon placed the book down and grabbed his phone, "Shall I call her? Do you want me to call Mummy?"

"Yes I want Mummy"

Marlon couldn't help but smile and pressed call on his phone.

XXX

At the club, Donna was sitting with a girl who had just plonked herself down unannounced, Donna smiled at her unsurely, the girl smiled back in her low-cut glittery top.

"I'm Carly...I've been watching you...you don't seem Ross's usual type"

Donna knew from that moment that Ross had been 'there before'.

"No? What is his usual type then?"

Carly breezed out a chuckle and pouted at her, "Well...me really"

Donna looked at her long legs and the skirt up her crutch, "Yes...I can imagine"

"What do you for work? I bet you do some really boring job, don't you? Let me guess...a secretary?"

"No...I'm a pole dancer actually", answered Donna with a hint of a smirk on her face.

"Ohhhh really...you don't look the type", gasped Carly really shocked. Ross was then coming over from the bar, "You never said that she swung round poles Ross...you are really scraping the barrel there"

Donna was opened mouthed in playful shock acting.

Ross played the game as Donna moved and sat on his lap, "Well that's it Carly...if she wants to swing round my pole who am I to want to go stop her...

Carly pulled a face and was off. Donna turned around and laughed, "Well I never...so that's your usual type then"

Ross looked at her as she stood up from his lap and sat back down in her seat, "Well...me and her...I've...errrrrr...shagged her a couple of times...nothing special like, just in the alley...well...you know"

Donna gave Carly the once over as she stood at the bar, "that figures...she seems the 'shagging up the alley type'"

"Meaow!, laughed Ross.

Donna's phone was lighting up and she grabbed it off the table, she looked at the display, "It's from Marlon...it says April's pining for me"

Ross put on his playful sad routine, "Does that mean we have to go now"

"Afraid so...I'm sorry"

"Don't be girl...you've got nothing to be sorry for".

She pulled him up and they made their way through the crowd to the exit.

XXX

Within half an hour, Donna was back at Marlon and Laurel's. April was in the living room jumping on the sofa when Donna came in through the door, Ross stood back in the porch, Marlon glared at him.

"Ohhhhhh April! Look at you still being up this late...you should be in bed!"

"I want a story!", whined April.

Laurel grabbed the empty wine bottle and glasses and went into the kitchen saying, "She's be up and down all night"

Marlon tried to make excuses, "I tried giving her a story...but she just wanted you to read it to her, what else could I do but call", he threw a glance at Ross as he said it.

"That what she said was it", Ross muttered.

Marlon glared at him, "You still here!"

Ross looked past Marlon, "Donna...I'm off"

Donna came over and with both hands pulled his face to hers and kissed him. Ross was a bit narked but he managed a smile, "I'll call you tomorrow...maybe WE could take April out"

Marlon didn't like the sound of that, Donna nodded, "That would be nice...text me"

Ross kissed her again their hands trailed off and Donna was then carrying April up the stairs, he then faced Marlon.

"I KNOW your game, I'm on to you", he hissed.

Marlon dismissed that with a, "am I supposed to be bothered?"

Ross sniggered and nodded in the direction of Laurel in the kitchen, "wifey-to-be know how much concern you are throwing your EX-wife's way, does she? Or should I alert her to the fact"

"Just GET OUT!"

Ross smirked at him, "Buy Marlon...I'm sure I'll have a cracking day tomorrow...errr...what IS April's favourite ice cream...", with another chuckled from the bad boy, he was gone leaving Marlon reeling.

If only he could wipe that smug smile off his face...

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**Hope you are still enjoying this...let me know :))**_


	10. Chapter 10

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 10/15

XXX

7.50am

It was the morning after from the nightclub. Donna opened her eyes, the early morning sun was shining in through her windows. She sighed and lifted her head off from the soft pillow. Ohhh the pain and the giddiness. She laid back again and sighed out in frustration...

7.56am

Marlon meanwhile was out early to get the paper from Davids shop. He came out of it reading the front page and looked up to see a police car go by. Why were they so early here in the village? He frowned and went along his way to prep the pub meals and then go back home.

8.40am

At the police station in Hotten, Ross was in the custody suite handcuffed and stood at the counter.

"Come on can we get this over with please...", Ross moaned in his overalls and hoodie top. The coppers had arrested him while he was just about to start work on a motor back at the garage.

The custody Sargent looked up at him, "Well I never Mr Barton...this IS a first! You are not gonna be pleading 'oh it wasn't me' and 'you've got the wrong guy' scenario like we usually do, and have to let you go. You come clean to us even though we have pictures of you on CCTV in a ski mask...what's changed this time..?"

"You're just loving this", Ross grimaced through a scowl at him.

"Oh when it comes to you Mr Barton always...right, lets complete the charge sheet..."

8.51am

"Look at the state of you! I KNEW you shouldn't have gone out last night!"

Donna sat on the sofa in her nightdress holding her head in her hands and looking to the carpet, "Marlon...I'm okay"

Laurel came in with a mug of tea in her grasp for her, "you do LOOK peeky Donna, even though you had a nice time, maybe in hindsight it was a bit too much for you"

Donna took the brew and looked up at them both, "maybe mixing the Meds with the Spritzers was pushing it"

Marlon was aghast and pointed at her accusingly, "how can YOU be so stupid to do that...or was it all Ross's idea!"

Donna shook her head at him, "No! It was ALL me if you must know, Ross doesn't know anything about it...I was having such a good time...I just wanted to live for the moment, that's all"

Laurel frowned at her, "So this is just a hangover then?"

Donna raised her eyebrows a little sheepishly, "I'm afraid so..."

Marlon was trying to look for signs and symptoms that were not there, "are you SURE about that? You are not trying to hide it from us..."

Donna was getting annoyed now, she stood up, "Marlon will you just shut up...stop mithering me please...I'm going to go up to get washed and dressed, then I need to see to April"

Marlon watched her walk up the stairs then looked at Laurel, "I'll kill that Ross"

Laurel picked up the tea mugs, "Marlon give it a rest will you"

Marlon shook his head at her following her into the kitchen, "No I won't give it a rest...did you hear what he said to me last night...coming round here and taking Donna and April out? HE'S GOT DONNA...he's not gonna take April from me as well..."

Laurel watched him. What did that mean? Taking April as well? She was seriously starting to read too much into things...wasn't she?

XXX

9.10am

Ross was in a police cell sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest. He looked up to the high window and sighed. He hated how time on his hands made him think.

How was he going to explain all this to Donna? He was meant to be taking her and April out today. Not that he was looking forward to that, he just wasn't used to kids, the closest he had got to kids in the past is when if a girl he was shagging at a kid, he would just give it 50p or sommit to clear off for an hour or two. April wasn't like that.

He had to be more of a 'dad' type to April and that scared him. He had made all those promises to Donna before he knew about the cancer. About a future and how he could be a dad to April. COURSE he would have tried to be...but why deep down in his heart was he a little relieved because that was never going to happen.

Sometimes he felt like punching himself. If you LOVE the girl you have to LOVE the her kid too.

He rested his head back on the tiles, he knew that...although it wasn't going to be easy and he'd probably would make a big hash of it...he would try his utmost best...for Donna.

9.42am

At the garage in Emmerdale, Donna walked up the forecourt and was having a quick look around. Debbie noticed her and came over wiping her oily hands in a cloth.

"Is Ross around?"

Debbie looked about her, "No...can YOU see him around?"

Donna frowned, "Oh...it was just that he was meant to be texting me about meeting up today...he said he was going to take me and April out would you believe"

Debbie was surprised to hear that, she sighed at her, "Well, he's a bit tied up at the moment"

Donna frowned again, "Oh?"

Debbie enlightened her, "the cops came and picked him up this morning"

"he's been ARRESTED! Why...what's he done?"

Debbie licked her lip, "I didn't hear all the details...but I think it was something about him stealing some flash motor from a showroom in town"

Donna didn't look too surprized as she shook her head thinking back, "I KNEW that car was nicked"

Debbie shrugged. She then looked up at her and came out with what she was thinking, "Donna...can't you see what you are doing to him...?"

Donna defended herself, "I didn't ASK him to steal a car!"

Debbie shook her head, Donna wasn't getting what she really meant, it wasn't about the car, "No...I didn't mean that..."

Donna narrowed her eyes at her, "what then...Debbie I used to be a cop I KNOW when someone has something to say but won't"

"Alright, alright...look, can't you see what YOU did was cruel?"

Donna was taken aback, "what?"

"you MADE him fall in love with you...and HE did...all those dodgie jobs you two did together all that busy with Gary North...somewhere in all the excitement he fell for you hook, line and sinker"

Donna was going on the defensive, "What's all that to you? Jealous are you? Jealous that he likes me and not you"

Debbie was biting her tongue at that part, "Don't go there Donna"

But Donna was goading her now, if she had something to say then she better come out with it, "No, come on Debra...if you've got something to say to me about Ross, you best tell me...I've got April to think about"

Debbie swallowed and shook her head, "...no...SORRY...It's nothing...I was just thinking about Pete"

Donna didn't know what Pete had to do with it but she didn't have time to hang around the garage all day, she went to go throwing back a, "well just tell him that I called around for him when he gets back"

Debbie nodded and watched her go. She shook her head and set back to work...this whole sorry mess was going to end in disaster, she just knew it.

15.30pm

Donna was at the playpark pushing April on the swings. Ross was back and was strolling slowly over with his hands in his hoodie pockets. He stood and held back watching them.

"Do you want to go higher", asked Donna.

"YEAHHHYYY!", squealed April in excitement as Donna did her best to please her under the circumstances.

"Ohhh I wish I had the energy", she cried out in frustration.

Ross leapt forward and took over, "Hey let me!"

Donna gathered her breath and looked at him pushing April on the swing, "Ohhhhhh...there you are...I thought you'd forgotten all about us for today..."

Ross looked back at her rather sheepish, "Something come up"

"Yeah I know...Debbie told me"

"She's got a big mouth, her"

Donna folded her arms as she watched him push April higher, "Ross...YOU told me that you didn't steal that car!"

Ross met her gaze, "Did YOU enjoy the ride?"

Donna had to be honest, "Yes...but that's..."

Ross didn't let her finish her sentence, "...then NICKING that car was well worth it to see the smile on your face girl"

Donna stepped forward as he stopped pushing the swing, "but...can you see...Ross THIS HAS TO STOP...I don't know how much longer I've got and it's even going to be less for us if you are going to be spending most of your time locked up in police cells"

Ross turned and grabbed her by the shoulders, "I KNOW...I'm SORRY...I AM SORRY...But, I'm here now...and i'm trying to make an effort...this is new territory for me, this"

Donna smiled at him and they leaned in for a kiss, but April was getting uptight on the swing.

"I WANT TO GO HIGHER!", she looked at Ross, "Can you push me...?"

Ross broke into a smile for her and making sure Donna gave him the nod, he went and pushed her on the swing again, "Here you go lass..hold on...I'll get you up nice and high and you'll be able to see all those sheep in the top field"

Donna laughed, "No she won't"

Ross laughed back at her, "She's not gonna know that, is she"

"WEEEEEEEEE I'm really High now", April cooed out.

Ross looked at Donna and nodded his head towards April, "See...I can play the 'daddy' too when I want to"

Donna nodded but was a bit careful how she reacted, "just don't let Marlon hear you say that"

Ross looked like she had taken his best toy away from him, "Spoil sport..."

18.00pm

When Ross got back to the garage Debbie was locking up. She turned around and raised her eyebrows at him.

"You're back then"

"There was something I was meaning to say to you...errr that's it...THANKS FOR TELLING HER!"

Debbie widened her eyes at him, "What?"

Ross scowled at her, "DONNA!", he was really annoyed.

"Ohhhhh get over yourself Ross...it was ALL gonna come out anyway"

Ross walked along with her up the street, he waved his hands about as he said, "Yeah...but it would have been better if it had come from me"

"Better for who...you or her?", Ross looked puzzled, she rolled his eyes, "...you know what I can't be bothered with all this...you and your tragic love life"

Ross grabbed her by the arm roughly, his eyes bored into hers...she worried when his mood turned this dark, "Maybe ME AND HER should do the whole Romeo and Juliet thing, eh? I wonder which roof in the village is the highest?"

"Ross!"

He looked at her, then stormed off. Debbie hurried after him and managed to steer him into her gate, "Come on...lets calm you down yeah"

Looking lost, Ross just nodded and let himself be shepherded inside.

18.20pm

Donna sat on the sofa giggling away as April sat on top of Marlon's back and he did a few laps of the living room.

"She loves that Marlon, I don't have the energy to do that anymore"

April squealed out, "I LOVE HORSEY...MUMMY DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE..."

Marlon then stopped and looked like he was going to keel over, "Ohhhhh my back...you are gonna have to get off young lady"

"Ohhhh OKAY Daddy", said April reluctantly slipping off. Donna leaned forward and smiled at her, "Hey April...go up to your room and see if you can find that game we like to play!"

April, all over excited went flying up the stairs. Marlon plonked his backside beside Donna on the sofa, "Jesus...she's worn me out"

Donna gasped out with laughter, "She's worn YOU out!"

Marlon felt bad, "Sorry...no...it's just she's getting heavier"

Donna blew out a sigh, "Ohhhh It's fine...just as long she is happy"

Marlon swallowed down and turned himself around and took Donna's hand in both of his, Donna pulled a face.

"This is gonna sound so totally wrong...I know...but I wish things were different...I wish we could be a family"

Donna looked at him sadly, she felt sorry for him, "Ohhh Marlon..."

"It's true though...I WISH we could have worked at it...our marriage everything...I just gave up in the end...I wish I fault for you"

"That's all in the past Marlon...where it should stay..."

He looked at her, "What is it about you and the name ROSS..."

Donna smiled. She hadn't thought about that.

"I love him"

"and I think I still love you...", said Marlon.

Donna pulled away and looked at him unsurely, then stood up and went up the stairs leaving Marlon wanting to hit himself...why did that come out? Why did that have to come out now...

18.35pm

"...I love HER so much...but there's a little part of me that hates her"

Debbie sat on the arm of the chair with a can and frowned, "Oh?"

Ross turned from where he stood at the kitchen counter, he clutched his own can of beer. "Just the part in me that resents her making me fall in love with her when she knew that she were dying and that we had NO future together...the future that I wanted...I want"

Debbie tutted and looked up at him, this was such a mess, "Have you told her this...?"

Ross shot a glare at her, "NO! What do you take me for...she'll hate me"

"But you should be honest...all these lies between you two...when's it all going to stop"

Ross shook his head as he looked at the floor, "What's done is done...I've fallen for her big time, end of...no escaping it...", he looked up and met her eyes, "...but I'm telling you one thing...I am NEVER EVER gonna love a girl like Donna again...NEVER!"

Debbie felt sorry for him now, he was hurting so much and trying to fight it.

"Awwwww...you might do one day"

Ross crushed his can in his hand and shook his head, tears on his cheeks "nah...because when Donna dies...a big part of me is gonna die with her...and there's nothing I can do to stop it..."

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_**Thank you for the reviews and to those of who have put this story as their fav.**_

_**Different style chapter. I hoped you liked it. I hope I'm not boring you with all the twists and turns...I sometimes do that...but I'm trying to get across all the emotion in them and how difficult it still is...Let me know.**_


	11. Chapter 11

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 11/15

XXX

Debbie came down the stairs and looked at Ross slumped on the sofa with an empty bottle of whiskey in his grasp. She huffed to herself and went over and took the bottle off him, Ross woke up at that instant.

"What time is it", he yawned and held his head.

"Late if you must know...look at the state of you, I thought you said you weren't drinking anymore"

Ross sat up, his head was banging, "helps me forget"

Debbie chucked the bottle into the recycling and heard it rattle with several other empty bottles, "She's not even dead yet and look at ya...Ross this has to stop"

Ross pulled himself off the sofa and looked at her painfully because of the hangover, "Have you got any paracetamol in that cupboard in the bathroom?"

"Ross...didn't you hear me"

Ross made a nagging expression with his hand, "You're all that! Just give it a rest, will ya..."

Debbie watched him disappear up the stairs, "Then at least tidy yourself up abit...you'll scare away the customers"

Ross laughed, "WHAT CUSTOMERS..."

Debbie sighed and leaned on the bannister post. This was getting worse. Ross was very slowly losing it.

XXX

Laurel was full of the morning joys when she saw Donna come down the stairs, "Morning!"

Donna went into the kitchen and got herself a glass of water to take her Meds, "Morning, she returned.

Laurel removed the laundry basket off the chair so Donna could sit down, "You look better today..."

Donna swallowed her tablets and smiled at her, "yeah...I think today's gonna be a good day...which is just as well because it's April's first day back at school"

Laurel started bundling the washing into the machine, "I tell you what, though...Marlon's been acting really oddly since yesterday...do you know if anyones upset him"

"Me? Why are you asking me for? Anyway, it's Marlon int it...he has his funny moments, doesn't he"

Laurel shrugged at her, "Yeah...I suppose"

Donna went to get April ready. Laurel knew that Donna was something to do with it but she couldn't go accusing her of anything. She sighed and slammed the washing machine hatch up...all she could do was try and sort out what was going off in that head of his.

XXX

"ROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

April ran up the forecourt to where Ross was working on a car. Donna was following her. Ross turned and crouched down to the girl, "hiya there young April...you are looking all pretty this morning, aren't yah?"

Donna smiled at him, "It's her first day back..."

Ross looked back to April, "Well that explains it, doesn't it...I used to hate school me...I bet you love school, don't ya"

"I love my teacher...she's nice...but not as nice as Mummy...why did you hate school Ross"

"Well I'm a bit of a thicko me when it comes to all that reading and writing lark...bet you are really clever though"

April looked up to her mother, "Mummy says I am"

Ross stood up as Donna laughed, "I don't know who she gets it from"

Debbie was watching them over a clipboard inside, Donna notices, "Why is she watching you for?"

Ross dismissed her, "Oh she's on my case like always...thinks I'm a right Lazy git her...", he then slams the bonnet down on the car he was working on and peeled his gloves off, "Right...best get this motor back to it's owner"

Debbie was hurrying out and grabbed the keys off him, "No it's alright Ross...you can start on that one over there"

Donna frowned. Debbie was quick to take the keys off Ross, why was that?

"I best get April to school, meet up for lunch?"

Ross smiled back at her, "In the pub yeah? "

Marlon came out of the shop just in time to see Ross kiss Donna on the cheek and for him to say to April, "Ohhh I'm not leaving you out you can have a kiss off me too darling"

Marlon saw red. He was seething inside. How dare Donna let that creep scumbag kiss his little girl. Storming up the road, he was sure to have words with Donna later.

XXX

Marlon was festering all morning, and when it came to lunch-time he looked up to see Ross enter the pub and get himself served a pint at the bar.

"Oi you...I saw you earlier", cried Marlon looking like he was going to punch him one. Ross side glanced him and pulled a face, "saw me what?"

"Kiss April...YOU stay away from MY little girl!", hissed Marlon seething with anger.

Ross was taken aback by that statement and looked at him, "You what? Are YOU accusing me of being somekind of perv, because if you are...", his fists clenched.

"Just stay AWAY from her!"

Ross had his card all marked, he knew what Marlon was thinking, "I suppose you mean stay away from Donna in all...You're SICK you are. You are engaged to goodietwo shoes..YET..you are still chasing after your ex..."

Marlon raised his eyebrows, "You are just WITH HER to get at me, I know your game"

Ross seemed surprised by that, "is that what YOU think? ...I love her...SHE loves me..."

"THEN WHY DID SHE KISS ME!", hissed Marlon leaning right into Ross, the mechanic nearly choked on his pint.

"You what?"

Marlon was all smug, at last he had cleaned off that smile off his face, " You heard...ohhh dear Ross...touched a nerve, have I...?"

Ross backed away and then, with a face like thunder, stormed out the pub in anger.

XXX

Debbie was hurrying up the street when she heard him kicking the shit out of one of the motors on the forecourt. The Mini was battered enough as it was without Ross adding to the damage.

"ROSS! ROSS WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

She grabbed his arm, but he shook her off him, "GET OUT OF MY FACE!"

"Ross...Ross what is it?"

Ross screwed his face up like he was fighting the emotion that was boiling beneath the surface of the anger he was taking out on the car, " SHE kissed him...SHE kissed Marlon!"

Debbie swallowed down, feeling his pain, "What?"

Ross was looking to her for answers, "Why Debbie? WHY say she loves ME and then kisses HIM!"

Debbie didn't have any answers, well, not to the ones he was asking anyway, " Ross...you've got to get a grip...this whole thing is toxic"

Ross looked like a total mad man as he banged his own chest crying out, " I KILLED GARY NORTH! I KILLED HIM SO WE COULD BE TOGETHER!"

The news rocked her...she had believed till now that he had fell while Donna was chasing him.

"you...you killed him?"

Ross nodded his head as he became distant, "I killed him for her...and THIS is the thanks I get..."

He then walks off, Debbie feeling frustrated chased after him AGAIN.

"Ross wait up..."

XXX

At the pub, Bob came over to the bar where Donna was looking at her phone, "You alright, love?"

Donna shook her head as she turned away from the phone, "Oooo I think I've been stood up"

"Ohhh, I'm sorry to here that..."

"Are you? It was Ross"

Bob frowned and shook his head, "he was here earlier...I saw him...Marlon and him were having words shall we say"

Donna pulled a face at him, "Marlon?"

Bob shook his head as he leaned on the bar, "Yeah...that Ross didn't look too happy mind...he stormed off"

Donna instantly rounded the bar and pushed her way through to the pubs back kitchen, Bernice tried to stop her, "Hey you can't go through there missy!"

Donna ignored her and was accusing Marlon no sooner she set foot into the kitchen, "What have YOU said to him?"

Marlon looked sheepish, he turned around from prepping the carrots, "I told him about our kiss ...Oh Donna I didn't mean it to come out like that, but seeing him with April this morning made me so mad!"

"YOU IDIOT MARLON!"

XXX

At Debbies place, Ross was pacing up and down wired up in anger, " I'm gonna go round there and tell Miss goodietwo shoes the truth about her precious Marlon and what he did!"

Debbie was trying to calm his mood, "Ross don't do this...you'll only make things worse"

Ross stopped pacing and shot a nasty glare at her, " WHY! HE'S HURT ME...WHY CAN'T I DO THE SAME TO HIM, EH?"

"But you'll just be hurting Donna, is THAT what you want...is it?"

"SHE KISSED HIM!"

"YOU FUCKED ME!...So what's worse hey Ross...YOU tell me"

Ross looked up at her, and then to the floor...

XXX

Outside Donna was hurrying across the street from the pub. She was clutching her chest and wheezing. Ross opened up the front door to see Donna collapse behind the wall. He panicked and sprang to attention.

"DONNA! DONNA!"

Donna was trying to pick herself up, but Ross came and supported her.

"I'm okay...I've just got myself worked up Ross...Marlon told me what he said to you..."

Ross was looking into her eyes, he was so worried about her now, "It doesn't matter"

"but..."

"I love you...what does it matter...I've done a lot worse believe me..."

Donna leaned on the stone wall and her head fell onto Ross's shoulder, "I'm not even going to ask...I'm sooo tired"

Ross turned his head and closed his eyes, "Not yet"

"I think my times nearly up...I feel like I just don't want to go on"

Ross twisted around and lifted her up, Donna managed a laugh, "What's this? YOU carrying me over the threshold?"

He carried her up the street towards the pub, "I wish I could because if I'd marry anyone it'll be you..."

Donna looked up at him, "That's never going to happy though...but I did dream about it the other night...silly really, I'm usually just crying into my pillow"

They reached the bench and Ross put her down so she sat down.

"I'll just take my meds and I'll be fine...well...as well as can be expected"

Ross sat beside her and gently rubbed her back, "you and me till the end yeah?"

"Are you SURE you can handle this...Ross, sometimes I think all this is just TOO MUCH for you..."

Ross was getting upset, "I told Debbie that a small part of me hates you and I did...just for a bit...", he looked at her, "...but I wouldn't change it now...not you and me...the only ONE thing I'd change is to stop you from dying...and leaving me"

Donna pulled his head to her breast.

Would the pain ever go? Was she doing the right thing? She didn't know...she didn't have no answers..,

...only that...she just didn't want to die and leave everyone behind.

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_**THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS...NOT LONG TILL THE END OF THE STORY NOW! I HOPE YOU'VE ENJOYED.**_


	12. Chapter 12

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 12/15 _**DONNA'S LAST BIRTHDAY part 1**_

XXX

Ross was up early. He looked up the stairs to see if there was any movement, Debbie or her kids weren't up yet. He quickly pulled on his jeans and rolled up his sleeping bag. Seeing the empty whiskey bottle next to the sofa, he stooped and picked it up. He needed to go into town, but he because he had a skinfull he was well over the limit.

Feeling mad at himself he chucked the bottle into the recycling and sat on the sofa in a huff. He swallowed down and looked towards the kitchen counter and saw his phone. He went over and snatched it up.

He pressed call and put the phone to his ear, "Hey Finn... you wouldn't do us a favour for your favourite brother will you mate? Look, I know it's early. Please mate...I'm begging ya here, I've had too much to drink and I really need to get into town mate...or do you prefer me to risk it and drive...THANK YOU...pick me up in say half an hour...thanks bruv you're a real superhero"

XXX

Donna was awake. She felt like shit and it was her Birthday. She rolled over to look at the time. The clock read 7am.

She looked up at the ceiling. How was she ever going to persuade Marlon and Laurel that she wanted Ross to stay over one night. Just one night that's all she wanted with him.

But that would go down like a lead balloon if she just asked him to come around and took the initiative. It was Marlon and Laurel's house and she was the guest, she knew that.

Ross was drinking. She could smell it on him the day before when he spoke to her and kissed her. He denied it of course, but that was Ross all over, he just hid stuff and said that the only thing that mattered was her.

She hadn't felt like this before...totally IN love with a guy. Of course she had loved Marlon and Max and Ross mark 1...but Ross mark 2...she was madly IN love with him and that was a wonderful feeling.

She lifted head from the pillow. Painful. She coughed and grabbed some tissues from the side...she coughed into them and removed the tissues from her mouth.

...blood...

XXX

Finn drove Ross into town. The lad looked up his brother and frowned, "So what IS so important that you NEED taking into town for...it couldn't of waited till later till you sobered up"

"I need to do something...it's Donna's birthday"

Finn looked at him, "Ross if it were are card you wanted you could have picked one up at David's shop"

Ross shook his head at him as he pulled up into the carpark near the town, "Nah...I've got something to do and something to pick up"

Finn grabbed him before Ross could jump out, "Do you want me to stay and wait for ya?"

Ross shook his head, "I'll be a couple of hours tops...I'll call you when I'm done"

"Ross wait..."

"Finn, I haven't much time"

"I'm worried about you...we all our...about you and Donna...how things will end up"

Ross pointed a finger at his brother, "Not now Finn...please...I can't do this now...2 HOURS yeah!", and he scarpered off leaving Finn only to watch him go.

XXX

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy BIRTHDAY TO DONNA...happy bithday to YOU!"

Donna came down the steps and looked at all the cards on the sofa and then the banner, "Ohh THANK YOU! Look at all those cards!"

Laurel was smiling keeping April and Arthur at bay, "Rhona and Paddy said they'll be over later"

Donna picked up the cards and sat and opened them, "that's nice of them"

April swished up to her, "Mummy...are you going to have a party like me?"

Donna looked up at her and took her into a cuddle, "Mummy's too old for parties now...and too tired", she said looking at Laurel and Marlon.

Marlon looked worried for her, "are you okay?"

Donna gave him a sad nod, "the Meds aren't working the way they were, that's all"

Laurel glanced at Marlon, then turned to Donna pointing to the banner and cards, "Is all this too much for you...we can cancel people coming round"

Donna was opening up a card from Bob and Brenda and shook her head, "No...no it's fine...I want to enjoy today...", she wiped a tear from her eye.

April pushed her bottom lip out and touched her hand, "Mummy why are you crying?"

"It's my Birthday and I can cry if I want to", she laughed through the tears.

XXX

In town, Ross was hanging around outside a scruffy looking shop. He looked up at it and blew out a breath, he then took two at a time on the front steps and went inside.

XXX

Rhona gave the flowers to Donna as she came in through the door, "I hope you like them, I hasn't sure what your favourites were..."

Donna smelt them, "they are lovely, thank you so much!"

Paddy was looking about them and looked at Bob and Brenda, "has Marlon brought it over yet?"

Donna frowned at him, she had just cottoned on, "brought what over?"

Rhona tapped Paddy on the arm, "Paddy Shush...you'll spoil the surprise", she hissed.

It was too late, Donna knew that something was going on, she laughed, "you just as well tell me...what surprise...come on, it IS my last birthday"

Marlon brought through the birthday cake from the kitchen, "this...happy birthday Donna"

Donna opened her mouth in delight, "Marlon! That's just so..."

"Yummy!", Rhona laughed.

Bob was grinning, watching his granddaughter eye up the cake almost as soon as it was put onto the coffee table, "I bet April would love some of that now, knowing her!"

Brenda agreed, "I bet all the little ones would"

Donna smiled and went to the window and looked out, this was all so nice...but it all seemed so final as well...and that made her feel sad.

XXX

Finn waited in the car, he looked at his phone and sighed out. Where the hell was Ross, he said he'd be here.

Then Ross was heading over with a bag in his grasp, he jumped in and sat back.

"Right come on kid, lets get back"

Finn turned, "aren't you not gonna belt up...I don't wanna be stopped"

Ross frowned at him like he didn't want to, "Ohh come on...coppers won't stop ya.."

"Ross!"

"Ohhhh ALRIGHT!", he belted up and it looked like he was in pain as he did do, Finn frowned as he started the engine, "What's wrong with you?"

Ross didn't want the fuss, he nodded his head towards the road ahead, "Just move yeah..I'll tell you later"

XXX

Donna was sitting on her bed. She felt tired and worn out already and it was only lunchtime. She was about to get up when there was a tap at the window, Donna turned and saw Ross's grinning silly face. She went and closed the bedroom door and then unlatched the window. Ross bundled in.

"Ross! You should be careful! Climbing into windows and that"

Ross laughed as he brushed himself down from the moss outside, "Oh come on...you know I'm an expert at breaking and entering...it's a occupational hazard!"

Donna laughed and met him for a nice long kiss, she then rested her head into his chest, he flinched.

"What is it?"

Ross licked his lip, then stood back and unzipped his hoodie top showing off his bare chest, there was a band-aid above his right breast. Donna looked at him unsurely, "Ross, what have you done?"

Ross removed the bandage and the tattoo was clear to read 'Donna forever'

Ross was sounding all pleased with it, "It's above my heart...that's where you belong int it...my heart...do you like it? Or do you just think I'm a complete fruit for doing it?"

Donna stared at the tattoo and came forward, clutching his arms, "Awwwww you went through all that pain for me..."

Ross shrugged it off, "nahhhh...didn't hurt...MUCH"

Donna sat on the bed, Ross turned and reached out the window and pulled in a small bag, he handed it to Donna, "for you"

Donna broke out into a smile and took the bag and put it into her lap, she then took out the card and read it..."It's lovely..."

She then saw the velvet box, not sure of it's meaning, she pulled it out of the bag and looked up to Ross, "What's this?"

"Open it, and see why don't yah see, girl"

Donna swallowed and opened the box, it was a necklace with a D&R within a heart on it.

"Ross...", she looked up at him.

Ross was quick to defend himself just in case, "It's legit...I haven't nicked it all owt...cross my heart"

Donna started to sob.

"Awwww don't you like it?"

Donna shook her head, "It's not that...I love it, I do...it's just..."

Ross came and sat next to her and held her hands, "Donna what is it...is it me?"

Donna met his gaze, "I don't want to die Ross...I don't want to die and I can't stop it"

"Donna don't...PLEASE don't cry"

She looked up and him and stroked his face, "I wish we COULD go on the run...I wish I was well and we could all go, you me and April...I wanted all that...I NEED to know that YOU know that...and I wasn't trying to screw up your mind"

"I meant what I said...if any lass could trap me and shackle a ring around my finger...you could"

Donna blew out a laugh, "and they say romance is dead"

Ross shrugged, "you know me...pure class girl...I know how to show a lass a good time me"

Donna heard them downstairs, "I best get down there...you should come to"

Ross waved out his hands, "No way...I'm not gonna be put through the mill by them lot...do you really think they'll want me there"

Donna took his waved out hands interloped them, "It's not about them is it...it's my party and I want you there...and April does"

Ross, up for anything, pulled a face and nodded to the door, "Well come on then...lets get down there..."

Donna led the way, then she turned, "Hey, pick up my card and pressie...I want to show it off"

Ross turned and went to the bed to pick up the necklace and card. When he was about to leave through the door, he saw the blood covered tissues in the bin.

He closed his eyes and sniffed back the tears, his hands shaking.

Even a plain and simple guy like him knew that time was nearly up...

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_**Part 2 of Donna's party continues next time...**_

Although sad...I hope you understand that there can never be a miracle cure for her...:(

Your Feedback is important as always...Thanks so much to those who have made the time to comment, it's so well appreciated, even for me as the author it is a hard story to write, but it's easier if I know my readers are enjoying it.


	13. Chapter 13

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 13/15 _**DONNA'S LAST BIRTHDAY part 2**_

XXX

Hand in hand, Donna led Ross down the stairs. April, with cake all over her face, was first to spot them and went zipping over to the base of the staircase.

"Mummmeee...Rosssssss"

Marlon, who was talking to Paddy snapped his head round and saw Ross looking straight at him as he and Donna reached the base of the stairs.

"WHO LET YOU IN? HOW DID YOU GET IN?"

Ross placed his hands over Donna's shoulders from where he stood behind her, "You best go check on those windows...ANYONE can just crawl in..."

Marlon was getting worked up and was already trying to pull on Ross's arm towards the front door, "I want you out, now"

Donna was looking like she had no energy to fight, she looked so pale, but she mustered up a, "I don't...I want him here and it's MY Birthday..."

Marlon met her eyes, "and it's MY house"

Bob came forward and tried to play the medium, "Marlon...Donna wants him here, can't do no harm, can it?"

The biggest shock came from Laurel, Marlon looked at her like she had betrayed him when she said, "He's right Marlon"

"You can't be serious.."

Donna leaned on the bannister post and held the side of her head, "Marlon please...I haven't the energy to argue"

Ross put his hand into Donna's hand and squeezed it, he smiled at her, then turned to Marlon, "Listen to her, why don't ya...it's HER day"

Donna smiled back at him, "and I want him here, with me"

Marlon swallowed down, everybody in the room was looking at him, "Well...it looks like I have no choice, does it"

Ross managed a quick smirk in Marlon's direction, "No, it doesn't"

Donna could detect the smugness in his tone, "Ross please..."

Ross looked at her and pointed to Marlon, "I'll behave...just as long as HE does as well"

Bob quickly stood in between them and clapped his hands together with a smile, "That's it, play nicely...now...I was going to say, shall we cut the cake, but some little monkey as already at a nibble..."

April laughed.

XXX

Marlon followed Laurel into the kitchen where the rest of the food was wrapped up one plates, "Why are you standing up for him, for?"

Laurel was peeling off the wrap from the plates, "I'm not...but it's Donna's day and if she wants him here...it's only fair she has her way, Marlon"

Marlon was shaking his head, glaring as he saw Ross pick up April so Donna could kiss her daughter on the cheek and ruffle her hair.

"I don't like it, just look at him"

Laurel threw him a glance, "I know...but it's called making an effort, isn't it...now help me get these sarnies into the other room please", she handed him two plates.

Brenda was then with them smiling, " Is there a knife I could borrow...that cake needs cutting into slices"

Laurel pulled out a drawer over near the sink, "Help yourself Brenda"

Brenda picked out a knife and closed the drawer with a twirl and a smile, "Hey, that Ross has gone and brought Donna a lovely necklace...it's all sparkly"

Marlon dismissed it with a, "it's probably stolen"

Laurel shot him a glare, "Marlon!"

Marlon followed them into the lounge, "I know I know...make an effort"

XXX

Donna was outside looking across to the fields that backed onto the house. Ross was coming up behind her and noticed that she was toying with the necklace around her neck.

"You've got it on I see"

Donna laughed and turned around to look at him, he kissed her forehead, "I love it...I wanted to show it off"

Ross stood behind her and put his arms around her tummy and put his mouth to her right ear, "I saw the blood", he muttered.

Donna got that impression, "yeah...I know you did"

Ross sniffed, "Do THEY know...inside?"

Donna was quick to turn around and look at him with pleading eyes, "no...and it's how I want it...so PLEASE don't tell them..."

Ross stroked her hair, "as IF that bunch in there would take a blind bit of notice of me anyway"

Donna tilted her cheek into his hand, "stay with me tonight...?"

Ross looked a bit unsure, "but what about them? They're gonna have something to say if I stop over with you"

"Please Ross...I'll speak to them"

Ross looked a bit nervous, but he shook his head and kissed her forehead, "course I will"

XXX

"I take it I AM allowed to use the shithouse", said Ross to Marlon in the kitchen, "I mean...I don't have to ask your permission or anything"

Marlon shook his head, Ross frowned before he headed inside the downstairs toilet, "What? You not gonna have a go?"

Marlon just shook his head and walked off. Ross shrugged and shut the door. He locked it and sat on the toilet seat and put his head into his hands. He needed five minutes.

Donna was in the living room with Bob. Bob could see she was looking tired.

"Why don't you sit down and take the weight off love...Brenda and Rhona have got the kids"

Donna sat on the sofa and smiled at him, "Thanks Bob...you're a star"

Bob turned, "you like young Ross a lot, don't you?"

Donna felt bad as she nodded yes, "sorry...I know you don't like him that much...and who can blame you with the reputation he's got...not every fathers ideal boyfriend for his daughter"

Bob shrugged, "but he's done nothing to me...well...I've known him to have a pop when his coffee is served up cold, but apart from that"

"I didn't want to fall in love again...this was all not meant to happen"

Bob looked sympathetic, "but you did..."

Donna nodded, "I know it sounds bad...but he wanted me to run away with him...me and April and if things were different Bob, if I wasn't for the cancer...I think I would have done..."

"Love makes you think stupid things, love..."

Donna shook her head and wiped away a tear, she gathered Bobs's hand up and asked, "Bob will you do something for me...will you look out for Ross after I've gone?"

Bob frowned at her, "But he's got his own family to do that, hasn't he?"

"He'll be shunned...you know he will...I won't be there to help him through it...I NEED to know that somebody will be on his side, please Bob..."

Bob slowly nodded, "Of course, love...course I will", and he kissed his step-daughter on the forehead as she leaned in to him.

XXX

Later, the party was over and Donna was tired. She turned from the sink and smiled at Marlon and Laurel at the table, "thank you for today..."

Marlon had his hand grasped in Laurel's, "did you enjoy yourself..."

Donna nodded and in turn gave Marlon and Laurel a parting hug before going upstairs.

"I not sure about him being here"

Laurel stood up to clear away the cutlery from the sink, "It's what Donna wants and that's all that matters isn't it..."

Marlon dried up the remaining items, "have you lost your senses...have you forgot what that man did to you"

Laurel shrugged and leaned on the side counter, "no...but...just lately I have seen a different side to him...I'll never like him...but I can see he's not all bad...well...I don't know about after when..."

"Shusshh...lets not talk about that"

XXX

April was in bed. Donna was one side, Ross was the other, Donna closed her eyes and smiled as Ross read April the story about the sleeping princess and the prince that tried to wake her.

April looked up to Ross, "is the princess dead Ross?"

"No...she's just sleeping..."

"Like mummy"

Ross looked at Donna who had her eyes closed. He looked at April and closed the book, "Your Mummys really tired now...so I think you should get some shuteye yeah..."

April dug herself under the pink fluffy covers, "I like you Ross...you're nice"

He looked down to her sadly, "I am sometimes"

He ruffled her hair and April sprang up and gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek, "You have a hairy face...like a big bear"

"I can roar like a bear too when I want to, now you get to sleep yeah"

Donna opened her eyes and saw Ross stand up, he held his hand out to her and she took it and they rounded the bed. Donna went and kissed her daughter goodnight.

"I love you April...god bless"

XXX

In the bedroom, Donna was soon in her nightdress and was in bed. She laid her head on her pillow and looked across to Ross standing up at the window looking out.

"Are you coming to bed?"

Ross looked at Donna through the reflection in the glass, then turned around and smiled, "yeah"

"Leave the curtains open...there's a storm coming"

The flash lit up the room. Ross unzipped his hoodie and then undid his belt and pulled his jeans off. Just in his boxers, he slipped into Donna's bed and they snuggled up together.

"hold me tonight"

Ross had tears in his eyes, "I will"

"I feel scared tonight...I hate storms"

"I'll won't let the storm get you", said Ross through a sad chuckle.

Donna looked up at him, "I miss my Mum and dad...but I feel close to them tonight...like they are watching me"

Ross tried to hold back his pain back through the tears as he cradled her head to his chest

Donna moved a hand to Ross's hand and he held it over his tummy.

"Does your tattoo still hurt?"

"Hurts like fuck, girl..but I'll live"

"You and me...to the end, Ross"

"To the end..."

Satisfied, Donna smiled and closed her eyes and the storm drew near.

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FEEDBACK PLEASE...JUST TWO CHAPTERS AND AN EPILOGUE LEFT.


	14. Chapter 14

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 14/15

XXX

6am

"Look at you...lying there all dead...don't matter about me, does it? Yeah, I'll be alright...I don't need you and your love...it just makes me weak...look at me, girl...look at the state of me, I've scarred my body because of you...but you just leave me, why don't you..."

Ross nearly choked on the hurt he felt. The emotions running fast like the hot tears down his cheeks.

"WHY did you do it...why did you make me fall in love with you...I didn't want that...you get to lie there and escape all the crap that comes after...it'll be me they blame...it'll be me they hate...blame Ross...he don't have feelings...scumbags like me don't, do they?"

Donna was on the bed lying there pale as a sheet. Ross, who was standing at the window went over and sat near her head on the pillow and looked down at her.

"just for you...I was like this just for you, girl...but no more...no more Mr nice guy..", he clenched his fist and his eyes grew cold, "...Mr nice guy's gone...he's LONG gone..."

XXX

7am

Marlon looked at the clock in the kitchen. 7 Oclock. He picked up the brew and went up the stairs. Laurel was hot on his tail, "Marlon? What are you doing?", she hissed after him.

Marlon looked back to her, "just made a brew for Donna...I'm taking it up for her"

Laurel shook her head, "I can see that, but don't forget she's got Ross in there...don't you think you should make him one as well?"

Marlon rolled his eyes at her, "What is this...room service? Oh well, I'd expect he'll want that too in all"

"Marlon..."

"I know I know..one sugar was it...he's lucky it's not arsenic"

Laurel watched him go back down the stairs and shook her head. He had tossed and turned all night during the storm, and she knew that he was thinking about her. It was always about her...

XXX

Ross was running across the field. He made himself go faster and faster till his chest hurt him because it was burning.

He was gasping for breath as the tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked back down to the village with his hands on his head, then he broke down to his knees.

Never again was he going to be allowed to feel this pain...never allowed would he have someone trap him like she did.

"NEVER AGAIN!, he raged out.

XXX

7.20am

Marlon was gently tapping on the bedroom door, "Donna? I've got a brew out here for you and...him...Ross...Donna?"

He frowned, then put the teas down on the landing, and put his hand to the handle and opened the door, "Donna...?"

Donna was lying on the bed. She was looking peaceful in her lacy nightdress. She was so pale.

Marlon swallowed down and then a hand went to his mouth in shock.

"No...not now...not now Donna..."

He sat on the bed and cradled her head, "Donna...", and then the tears started to fall.

Laurel was at the base of the stairs, she looked up and heard what sounded like was crying.

"Marlon?", she went up the steps and went into Donna's bedroom. Marlon was rocking Donna where she laid on the bed, he was sobbing his heart out.

Laurel put a hand to her mouth, "Ohhh Marlon...", she whispered.

XXX

Bob was on the phone. Brenda served another customer and turned as he gently ended his call.

"Love? What is it"

Bob was hesitant, "That was...that was Laurel...it's...it's Donna"

Brenda could see by the painful expression on his face what had occured. Donna had died.

"Love...I'm so sorry"

Bob was faffing, "Errrm...I've got to get over there...would you mind holding the fort"

"Of course YOU go..."

Brenda put her hands together and watched Bob grab his jacket and was out the door.

XXX

Laurel put her mobile down and turned to see Marlon still clinging to Donna in the bedroom, "Marlon...come along now...leave her...she looks at peace"

Marlon was focused only on Donna's pale face, "I can't believe she is gone..."

Laurel bit her lip, this is ging to be harder than she thought, "I've called Bob...he's on his way round"

Marlon didn't look up at her, "look at her...she's only 29 she's too young to die...it's not right...she has a little girl...WE have a little girl"

Laurel was looking about the room, then realised something, "Where's Ross?"

This did get Marlon's attention, he looked up at her, "Who cares..."

Then, in one swift stroke, he grabbed the necklace Ross had bought her off Donna's neck and threw it into the bin, "... that can come off for a start!"

Laurel looked horrified, "Marlon..."

Marlon stared at her, "She was MY ex-Wife...HE has NOTHING to do with her, do you hear me...he's NOTHING to her!"

Laurel tried to get through to him, "they were lovers Marlon...they..."

"I don't care!"

There was a call downstairs, Laurel turned, "Bob's here..."

XXX

8.10am

At Debbie place, Debbie was getting the kids ready for school, "Come on kids"

Pete was getting their coats on, "I'll finish off getting them ready if you want"

"Why"

"When I move in with yah, I'll be doing it all the time, won't I?"

Debbie looked at Pete, "We still have to talk about that..."

Pete turned and saw the rolled up sleeping bag in the corner, "I see our Ross didn't stop here last night"

Debbie looked at the sleeping bag and shrugged, "he must have stayed around Donna's I suppose"

Pete pulled his jacket on and chuckled, "Is it REALLY love with him? I still find it hard to believe...I know dad said it was all serious..."

Debbie sadly smiled at her, "I know how he feels believe me...he's mad for her...and god knows he's going to need all of us when she dies..."

XXX

Bob was in the living room with his hands together, he turned to Laurel who came out from the kitchen, "doctors up there...", he said braving a smile.

April was looking all bewildered and confused on the sofa next to him, "Where's Mummy?"

Laurel and Bob glanced at one another, then she forced on a smile and looked at April, "Would you like to go to the café for your breakfast today for a special treat?"

April smiled at her, "Is Mummy going to be there with Ross..."

Bob grabbed the youngsters coat and held it out for her to put her arms in, "Come on love...lets get you ready sweetheart..."

Just as they were out the door, Laurel turned and saw the doctor come down the stairs with Marlon in tow, " Seeing she was under the hospital there shouldn't be a need for a post-mortem"

"Thank you doctor..."

XXX

10.30pm

Debbie came out of the village shop and saw Ross stroll her the road with a bottle of whiskey in his grasp.

"Ross? What is it...?"

Ross looked at her, "Don't you start mithering me and that I should be at work because you can go stuff your job!"

Debbie pulled a face, "Ross? Don't you think it's a bit too early for that...", she nodded towards the bottle in his hand.

Ross laughed at her nastily, "Oh you just love it don't yah...Pete's little bitch...pity he can never give you what you crave for...excitement"

Debbie knew that something was up, "Has something happened...is it Donna?"

"Who?"

And then he walked off. Debbie instantly got her phone out of her pocket and pressed call, "Laurel it's Debbie...has there something happened? What...you're joking...I'm so sorry..."

She looked up to see Ross disappear from view.

XXX

At the café, Brenda gave April an ice cream, "There you go lovey...it's a bit naughty but chocolate ice cream for breakfast!"

April's eyes feasted onto the bowl, "thank you"

Brenda ruffled her hair and turned to Bob discretely, "Have you phoned the undertakers...the ones we used for our Gennie were ever so good"

"Who's Gennie...", asked April looking up.

Brenda and Bob looked at one another and turned to April, "Love...there's something we need to talk to you about..."

XXX

Ross stood by the bridge with his hood up, he stared at Tall trees cottages and saw the black van pull up.

He turned his head and put his mobile to his ear, "It's me...you said you had a job, yeah i know what I said...but things are different now... I'm up for it..."

XXX

Laurel looked out the window and then called up the stairs, "Marlon...the undertakers are here"

Marlon was at the top of the stairs and looked down to her, "I don't want them to take her"

Laurel tried to be understanding, "You have to let her go"

Marlon screwed his face up in pain as the understakers came in through the door. Laurel turned and cleared her throat, "I will show you the way", she said.

Marlon in stunned silence turned and watched them walk up the stairs. The men in black.

He closed his eyes and sobbed in silence.

XXX

Debbie watched from the gate as the undertakers stretched Donna's body into the back of the private ambulance.

She swallowed. Ross. What was going through Ross's mind.

She backed away and hurried back to the village.

XXX

At the parade of shops in town, the girl parked her car and reached over to the back seat and grabbed her handbag. Suddenly all of a sudden, the passenger door opened and Ross jumped in the seat and stared at her through his ski mask and hood, "GIVE ME THE KEYS...!"

The girl was petrified. The stone cold fear on her face. She froze.

"GIVE US THE KEYS NOW YOU STUPID BITCH OR I'LL MAKE YAH!"

The girl went to struggle out when Ross grabbed her arm, then squeezed his hand around her neck ready to throttle her, "YOU FUCKING STUPID COW! GIVE US THE KEYS NOW!"

The girl stared back at Ross's dark eyes. Cold...evil...dark...and gave him the keys...

The girl was pushed out as he drove off in her car, shaken and frightened to death, she stood up to call the police.

Up the road, Ross hit the brakes and he screeched to a stop. Another car came to his side.

"Nice car- jacking...Welcome back badlad...where you been all this time?"

Ross met his gaze coldly, "It doesn't matter...I'm back..."

"Blimey...you are in a darker mood than usual pal", they swapped cars and the other guy stuck a bunch of rolled up notes Ross's way.

Pocketing the roll of readies, Ross got into the other car and glared at him, "yeah...and that's how it's gonna stay..."

"Well the coppers will be around in mo...we best get the hell out of here...call you soon"

Ross watched him speed off, Ross started the engine and then looked at his phone, there was a picture of Donna on the screen saver. She was smiling back at him.

In anger and rage, he smashed the phone up over the steeling wheel and then chucked it to the floor.

Sirens in the foreground, he sobbed uncontrollably and awaited his fate...

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Hope it's not too sad...one chapter and epilogue left.

These will tie up Donna's story and resolve Ross's issues.


	15. Chapter 15

_DON'T OWN EMMERDALE OR IT'S CHARACTERS...ITV'S PROPERTY_

Chapter 15/15 and Epilogue

XXX

Zac and Lisa were beside Marlon and Laurel as they walked away from Donna's grave. The funeral had just taken place and it was time to go to the wake hosted by Diane and Chas in the Woolpack.

"That was a beautiful service...", said Lisa.

Laurel took Marlon's arm, "Yes...apparently, she spoke about it at length one night to Bob...from hymns right down to the coffin...so thoughtful was Donna"

Marlon could detect some opposite sound of compassion there...was she being sarcastic when she said that Donna was thoughtful.

Zac turned and removed his hat, "Well...she'll have a good send of in the pub...we'll all drink to her"

"That we will", seconded Lisa.

Bob meanwhile was still had the graveside. Brenda came over to him, "Come along love, they'll be waiting for us over at the pub"

Bob looked up at her, the September sun losing its late summer warmth, "I don't feel like it to be honest...the funeral has taken it out of me...plus, we'll have to settle April...how do you think she was?"

Brenda shrugged, "Don't know...it's hard to understand and take it all in at that age, at any age...I'm sure she'll be okay, give her some time..."

Bob nodded and they turned to leave the grave.

"Do you get a vibe from Marlon and Laurel that not all is well with them?"

They walked the gravel path towards the gate, "What do you mean?"

"They just seem abit...I don't know...distant with one another...it's not good...it's not good for April"

"Well...Marlon did feel a lot for Donna, didn't he..."

"Maybe TOO much..."

XXX

At the pub, Diane and Chas made sure that everybody had a drink. Debbie turned as Marlon and Laurel came to the bar, "Victoria's just bringing out the food", she said.

Marlon nodded and looked up to see Debbie link an arm around Pete Barton.

"At least your brother wasn't here to spoil things..."

Pete raised his eyebrows at him as he lifted his pint, "well it would be a bit hard even for him mate, him being inside and everything..."

Laurel shuddered, "ohhhh and there was me thinking he had turned over a new leaf over Donna and everything...that poor girl he car-jacked...I saw it in the paper...I KNOW what that girl went through...your brother should ROT where he is"

Pete just shook his head debating whether it was actually a good idea of being here at all, but Debbie thought a lot of Ross and she was there for him. That's what the impression he got anyway.

Debbie turned to him, "I've got a visiting order...I'm going to go see Ross tomorrow...tell him how Donna's funeral went"

"Finn won't see him"

"I know...but that's just because he's disappointed in him...you have to talk to him, that's all"

Pete nodded, then he swallowed and asked that burning question on everybody's lips, "What is it with YOU and HIM? I know you and him...well...he was giving you the eye when I was trying to get with you..."

Debbie put her hands around Pete's neck and looked into his eyes, "there's a connection between us...I admitt that, and you knew that anyway...but Ross LOVED Donna...there was no doubt about that...and him not being here just makes things even sadder than they are"

Pete understood, "and what about us? Do YOU love ME?"

Debbie smiled at him and met him for a kiss, "What do you think..."

XXX

Over at Tall Trees cottage, Laurel gave the box of bits to Bob, "This was her world...I thought it best YOU had them"

Bob took the box from her arms and frowned at her, "does Marlon know you are giving me all this stuff?"

"It SHOULD go to you...you were the closest thing Donna had to a dad...I think YOU should have it...or you can give things to April"

"Family's eh? I got a text from Scott this morning...HE thought the funeral was next Tuesday and when I said it was today, he said he'll just send a donation to cancer research...as for Kelly"

"No word..."

"Can't get hold of her...in America somewhere...it's a good job Donna had us to look after her, isn't it..."

Laurel gave a sad sigh, "Yeah...Marlon has really taken it badly...all this"

Bob decided it was time to air his concerns, "You and him...I'm worried about you...you will be okay, won't you? We've got April to think about now"

Laurel sat on the sofa, "I just think that his feelings for Donna were a lot stronger than he makes out"

Bob tried to reassure her, "but Donna didn't love Marlon...she, and for the life of me I don't know why, loved this Ross lad, didn't she"

Laurel blew out a chuckle, "Yeah...and that's why I excepted him here...I excepted that vile man I hate most of all in the world in our lives because he could keep Donna away from Marlon...what does that tell you about me, Bob"

"You put Donna first, love...that's all...Ross is a badlad...Wasn't suited for Donna at all...but SHE must have seen something in him...she's a bit silly...but, I suppose love can make you blind"

Bob took her hands, "...this is a fresh start now, love...you, Marlon, Arthur and April..."

Laurel nodded at him and they hugged.

XXX

_**THE NEXT DAY...**_

Debbie was led into the prison visitors suite and sat down at one of the tables near the water machine. She put her hands together and waited quietly. Ross was in Maidstone Prison down south, it had been a long trek to get here...but Ross deserved a visitor. Finn had refused to go when he received one.

She looked to the other tables and the other visitors. Most were women. Wives or girlfriends no doubt.

Then the barred door at the end opened with a clang of the keys that brought her own memories of being inside to the surface, she shuddered.

Ross, in his orange visitor vest, came over and slumped into the seat opposite her. Debbie gasped, the state of him. A black eye, a cut lip and his hair was a mess.

"Blimey...whos had a go at you?", she said. Actually it was all she could think of.

"The other guy was worse off, believe me"

Debbie could detect the under current of hate in his tone.

"Look...I thought I'd come to see you...saves wasting a visiting order and all that..."

"How's Finn?"

"Finn's okay...I sure he misses you"

Ross blew out a laugh and sat back, he stared at her through his dark cold eyes, "You expect ME to believe that shite? Finn don't want ANYTHING to do with me...why would he? Look at me"

Debbie swallowed and looked around her, then back at him, "It was Donna's funeral yesterday..."

Ross looked at her, hard eyes, "WHO"

"Stop it...you can't just forget about everything Ross, it just doesn't work like that"

Ross shrugged, "she was some tart I shagged...copper in all...gave us a right buzz did that...but SHE is gone now...live goes on...mine has"

Debbie waved her hands at him, "What this? THIS is moving on? Ruining and wasting your life locked up in here"

Ross's eyes were fixed to the table.

"You are heartbroken, I get that...you are hurting and it is still all raw for you...but...you WILL get over it...life DOES carry on Ross...it might not feel like that now...but over time...you will learn to..."

"FORGET!"

"No...accept"

Ross looked up at her and swallowed, "but i don't want to accept it...I WISH I never clapped eyes on her...out of ALL of us, me, Pete...Finn...it was ME who had grown up first...I was prepared to Marry that girl...bring up her kid...maybe have one of my own if she wanted...NEVER have I ever felt like that before...out of the three of us I didn't think it'll ever be me"

"They are all shocked it was you, believe me"

He became more serious, his voice a tad gentler, "but what is there for me now...I can't see past the wall..."

Debbie could see he was torturing himself, she knew he would...she swallowed and from her pocket she slipped over a piece of card.

"there"

Ross frowned and lifted it and turned it over. It was a picture of smiling Donna.

"I asked Bob for it...and he gave it to me...you could, I don't know, pin it on your wall...or you could just screw it up and threw it away, because it doesn't change anything Ross...YOU have to MOVE ON"

Ross looked adoringly at the photo and closed his eyes in pain.

Debbie reached out for him and grabbed his hands and squeezed them as he tried to fight the sobs, "just let it out Ross...let it all out..."

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_**EPILOGUE**_

_**9 MONTHS LATER...**_

_Ross Barton drove into the village in a flash car and looking all smart. It was Debbie and Pete's wedding day. He had hired out a nice suit and it was a good fit._

_Since getting out of prison for good behaviour if you'd believe, he had tried to put right his sorry excuse for a life. He had got a good mechanic's job in Leeds and he was managing to keep his nose clean._

_He went up the path and knocked on the door. Charity opened it and stood back, "My my, look at you...is this Ross Barton we see before our eyes?"_

_Debbie was inside and twisted around in her nice two match pale cream wedding suit, she didn't want anything too princessy._

_But Sarah looked like one._

_Ross looked at her with that half smile and tilt of the head._

_"Ross...I thought you couldn't make it..."_

_"a lad can change his mind, can't he?"_

_She went up to him and smiled, "you look nice...scrubbed up well infact..I think I must be marrying the wrong brother!"_

_Ross looked into her eyes, "Pete is a lucky bloke..."_

_"Don't be silly"_

_"So...now he's managing to put a ring on your finger, you'll be my sister in law...that's just so wierd"_

_Debbie was getting Sarah ready, "Have you been up to the farm? Seen Finn?"_

_Ross nodded doing up his suit, "Just gonna go up there...I'm abit nervous if I'm honest...ME honest...what's happened to me, eh?"_

_Debbie smiled back at him, "it'll be fine...he's forgiven you...you are his favourite brother, you knew deep down he always would"_

_Ross nodded and made for the door and turned, "Thanks Deb...thanks for not giving up on me"_

_Debbie smiled and watched the door close behind him. Blimey...in another life..._

_XXX_

_Ross walked up the street in the hot June sunshine and saw Bob walking to the café with April in his grasp. Ross stopped and watched them, he sadly smiled as he saw April jumping about. And then, before he could hurry off, she saw him._

_"ROSSSSSSSSSS!"_

_Letting go of Bob, April went flying across the street and as Ross stooped he caught her in his arms and lifted her up. The Young girl wrapped her arms around his neck._

_"You went away like Mummy...where did you goooo!"_

_"I've just been away...I'm back now"_

_Bob was now coming over but he paused and there was an understanding nod between the two men._

_April looked at Ross, "I missed you...you make silly noises when you read me stories...daddy can't do your voices like you can"_

_"You okay? Are you looking after your dad and Laurel and your granddad...because your granddad will need a lot of love and kisses from you"_

_"...you do too"_

_And she kissed him on the cheek. Ross closed his eyes. Savouring the moment till he had to hand her back to Bob._

_"Bye Rossss"_

_Bob turned as he was about to walk off, "thanks...for making Donna happy at the end...", and with that said, Bob and April were gone._

_He sniffed back the threatening tears and turned and looked to see the family and friends gathering outside the church for Pete and Debbie's wedding._

_Licking his bottom lip, he turned and went into the cemetery and went across the neatly cut lawn towards the nice new headstone that so recently had been erected._

_Here lies Donna Windsor_

_1986-2014_

_Loving Mum to April._

_Daughter of Vic and Viv._

_God bless._

_He touched the top of the stone with his hand and looked down at the grave._

_"Sorry I'm late...I've been a naughty boy again...but I'm gonna be good from now on...well, that's what I'm saying to them but you know I can never promise that...you wouldn't have loved me if I was boring like my brother Pete._

_I miss you so much, Donna...I've been thinking about you a lot today...maybe it's just all the emotion of a wedding. Not that I'd show it, but you are not gonna be telling them, are you..._

_Just want to tell you...I'll never love anyone Like I loved you...I know I have to move on and I have...but...the tattoo stays...Donna forever and no woman can make me remove it..."_

_He looked up as the bell tolled._

_"...looks like the precedings are starting without me...Donna I just wanted to say..._

_I understand WHY you didn't tell me...If I'd know you were ill from the start, would have I not fallen for yah? I think I would have...because I was in love with yah from Moria and Cain's wedding..."_

_He stooped low and was looking about him like he didn't want to be seen. Then, reaching inside his suit, he pulled out a single red rose and laid it onto the grave._

_He smiled sadly. Stood, buttoned up his suit and walked away to the church with a cheeky grin Donna would approve of. Not that he was into weddings, but one of those flower girls looked rather tasty!_

_THE END_

_XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

_**That's me. Hope you enjoyed the tale, I tried to tie things up on a high that lifes moving on, like it should do, but not forgetting what's past. I hope it came across that way, let me know.**_

_**Feedback is gratefully received and your opinions are as always welcomed.**_

_**I like to take the opportunity to thank those who have reviewed and for those who have put me as their 'fav' author, it means a lot to me.**_

_**Markab X**_


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